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Personals - September 2006

Questions you shouldn’t ask on a first date

September 29th 2006 00:04
Inspired by yesterdays post, these are some questions that won’t go down very well on a first date. Now the first date is all about getting to know the other person. Of course you and they are going to be packed with questions and things that they want to know about you. How else are you going to figure out if you are compatible? Still, there are some things that you just shouldn’t ask.

1. Are you still in love with your ex?
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Notches on the bedpost - how many people have YOU slept with?

September 28th 2006 01:14
The other day I was asked, “how many people have you slept with?” I think I shocked them with my response of, “not too sure.”

Its not that I’ve slept with a whole bunch of people, or that I hit the town, get smashed and never really know what I’ve done with someone I’ve meet. Its just that I don’t keep a running scorecard. If I really wanted to I could list every single sexual partner I’ve had. But with my memory committing that number to memory and then updating time every time I add another stroke to the scorecard… agh, it’s just too much of a hassle.
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Memorable Dates

September 27th 2006 00:49
What has been your most memorable date and what specifically made it extra special? I figure we can all help each other out by sharing some ideas for a few extra surprise we can thrown into our relationships to either keep the flames firing for those that are already in a relationship or help spark up something new for those that are just starting out. I’m one of those jaded, pissed off lovers that hasn’t really had anything extra special thrown into my past relationships. Fair enough, I never really went out of my way either, so I can’t put the full force of blame on those unromantic sloths.

Now, I’ve heard all these gushing stories about women find rose petals strewn about their bedrooms, secret love notes on Post-It notes stuck throughout the bathroom and cars filled with heart shaped balloons. It all sounds like a lot of cleaning up to me (that’s the jaded alter-ego talking), but has anyone actually come across these romantic little surprises? What has been the most romantic thing a partner has done for you?
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Who best represents your gender?

September 26th 2006 00:09
One of the random thoughts that popped into my head the other day was who would I choose to be the quintessential role model for my gender? There are plenty of role models in sports, the arts, entertainment, fashion, politics and science, but I was trying to nail down someone who I thought best encapsulated the essence of each gender. Who are the representatives that each gender aspires to be?

It was a pretty interesting exercise and I actually found it very difficult to think of anyone who was a completely well rounded representative of females. I was considering Jackie Onassis as a candidate. She had a strong character, was intelligent and beautiful. But I really don’t know enough about the ole Jackie O. It is all too easy for the press, writers and journalists to have embellished her virtues and forgotten any flaws.
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Dealing with your partner’s family

September 25th 2006 00:08
Keeping the peace with you and your partner’s family can be a tricky balancing act. If you get on brilliantly with your partner’s parents and siblings, consider yourself blessed because in my experiences it is a rare situation. Parents or siblings tend to naturally get protective of their family members. It’s an instinctive reaction particularly in very tight-knit families. The exact reasons why a member or the entire compliment of your partner’s family decides to dislike you are varied and complex. For some, the new partner is viewed as a potential threat to the family clan, a bad influence. Others don’t think the new partner is of a worthy standard. Some just have really bizarre and pitiful reasons, whilst other may have good reason to dislike you.

It may be easy to brush off any hostilities between you and your partner’s family. After all, it is your partner who you are dating not their extended family. But if you want things to run smoothly in the future it is best to try and resolve any differences or at the very least come to some sort of middle ground with a difficult in-law family.
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Matchmaking

September 22nd 2006 02:58
There are some people that habitually fall for the completely wrong type of partner. I think most people have a friend who has this systematic problem. You’ll see them bounce from one incompatible relationship to the next. No sooner do they introduce you to their new squeeze you’re already counting down the days to that phone call announcing the split. The problem with these types of serial incompatible relationship people is that the qualities that they look for in a partner is out of sync with the qualities that they need from a partner. With younger adults I find that a lot of people will place too much emphasis on material things. How much money someone’s earning… what they look like… what social group they’re into. Young adults are quick to fall in love with an image rather than the true self.

Then there are also those that have an adamant definition of what they want in a partner. There is this long list defining to the last eyelash what they want in a partner when in reality no one is every going to match up to these parameters. Everyone has their flaws, it is a matter of finding what you absolutely must have from a partner and what qualities you are willing to compromise on.
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The date who couldn’t stop farting

September 21st 2006 00:46
I was chatting to one of my nurse friends the other day. When talking to a nurse you’ll find that the majority of your chit chat will tend to revolve around odd bodily functions or fluids. Urine, snot, nasty STDs, semen, pus… its all guaranteed subject matter with an off-duty nurse. Last nights conversation was no different and I was reminded of one of my most memorable first and only dates I ever had. It all happened back in the day when I was a young uni gal.

I had just moved out of home and was living in the hub of alternative student life, Newtown (in Sydney). It was a really cool area, I’d just finished school and moved out from my safe Liberal haven in the North Shore. Everything my parents and neighbours feared and dreaded was in Newtown. Dole bluggers, druggies and assorted worthless poor scum could be found on its streets. As a adventurous youth that didn’t quite fit the conservative mould, Newtown was a breathe of fresh air.
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Getting Physical with your Partner

September 20th 2006 00:57
No not that sort of physical… I’m talking about grabbing your partner and hitting the local gym, bushwalk, cycling trail, fitness class, boot camp or recreation park. We’ve all been warned about this obesity epidemic that is plaguing modern society, so there is good reason to get out and schedule some regular exercise. I think the perfect training buddy or team-mate would have to be your partner and would provide some positive reinforcement in your relationship.

The number one reason for recruiting your partner in your exercise regime is that it is a really good feel good activity that you can both share. Even people that hate exercise will have to admit that getting the blood rushing leaves them in a better mood. Moving about gets the endorphins flowing. With endorphins comes that exercise high and the positive chemistry that keeps a relationship thriving. A natural effect of exercise is that it leaves you feeling happy, dandy, confident and hormone charged. Times that by two and you’re set for some hot post workout err, rubdowns.
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Dating outside your age range

September 19th 2006 00:14
What are people’s thoughts on dating people who are significantly older or younger? In fact, where do you draw the line at too old or too young? It seems to be far more socially acceptable for women to be younger than their male partner. We only need to look at the media scrutiny that was dished out to Demi Moore for her cradle snatching efforts. Meanwhile Michael Douglas’ efforts with Catherine Zeta Jones hardly raised an eyebrow.

It seems a tad old that the traditional older male, younger woman couple should still be considered the ideal couple. In an ideal world, it really should be just be a matter of compatibility. Age may just be a number, but we all carry around our own prejudices when it comes to the age of our partners. A couple months ago I went on a date with a younger guy. He was only two years my junior but it felt so weird. I’ve also dated a guy who was 10 years my senior, everyone thought it was really bizarre and a bit weird. I even felt a bit self conscious about it, even though we actually got on amazingly well. It may have been rather fickle, but I ended up closing that relationship due to the age gap. I still have mixed feelings as to whether dumping the guy was the right thing to do, or whether an age gap was even an appropriate reason to end an otherwise great relationship.
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The Skinny on those Skinny Models

September 18th 2006 00:37
Ok, sorry to get a bit off topic for this post but I just had to give a big hurrah out to the fashion world finally taking some steps towards curbing those atrociously thin models on the international catwalks. Fine some of those models may be genetically built to be like toothpicks, but several models have come out and publicly explained the lengths that they had to go to in order to maintain a skeletal figure. The really tragedy of the whole stick thin model look is the countless number of young girls and women who have been influenced by the media’s portrayal of beauty.

Within my tight circle of friends at high school (a group of about 15 girls and boys) there where 2 anorexics and 2 bulimics. It was harrowing to deal with these friends. We loved them to death and with no professional guidance we did the best we could. I remember myself and the rest of my friends always being somewhat in a bind as to what to say to our sick friends. We couldn’t tell them they looked good for fear it would egg them on, telling them they looked awful may just push them to loose further weight. I hindsight I really wish that our school offered some sort of guidance and support to the friends of those with eating disorders. We went through years of dodging certain topics, there were fights over what others had said and it eventually tore up friendships forever.
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Are unattractive people better in bed?

September 15th 2006 00:23
I can’t lay claim to the theory, however, the more I think about it, the more I have to agree… ugly people are great screws. Now I know it’s rather superficial to be labeling people ugly. I can already hear the complaints and ‘there’s more to a person than just their looks’ type rhetoric. Now before you decide to start ranting, put away the soapbox and take it all with a grain of salt. As my mother once said, “we’re all beautiful in our own special way.” So don’t take offense, just wallow in the inner beauty and know that whilst you may not be visually appealing, with the lights off you’re a damn good shag. I can’t exactly say that I’ve been bless with a healthy dose from the attractive gene pool. So I’ll happily bear the insult as much as anyone else.

So what is it that makes the visually repulsive so incredibly talented in the sack? With not much better to do at work today I decide the water cooler conversation was going to centre around this perplexing conundrum.
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Do men really like boobies?

September 14th 2006 00:24
Ok, so I’m in a bit of shock today. Contrary to all my adolescent to young adult beliefs, it appears that men are not as into boobs as I once thought. I think I just heard a hurrah erupt from my A cup! Of course, this isn’t a broad male consensus. The entirety of my research is actually limited to musings of two male friends who possibly told me this to make me feel better about my lack of boob-age. Much like when I told a guy with a stub for a penis that chicks really didn’t care about size. One from the little white lies basket. Nevertheless, there is the plausible possibility that there are at least two men on this earth who do not dig colossus jubblies.

I pressed Gerard and Andre for further insight. Talking to each I was surprised by how similar the responses were. Both figured that they’re a bit of fun for the first few minutes but before long they just sort of get in the way, flop about and when gravity takes its course they make for an unattractive syncopated bouncing display.
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Tips to avoid a rebound relationship

September 13th 2006 00:21
There’s no hard and fast rule for a period of time you should wait after a relationship before looking to start a new one. Some can move on and heal much faster than others. It is really a situational and case by case sort of thing. Relationship counselors will recommend that someone who has been in a long term committed relationship or marriage should take a year to work through the pain, anger and sadness that will accompany a divorce, death or break-up.


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Rebound Relationships

September 12th 2006 00:51
A rebound relationship occurs when a person quickly settles into a new relationship after experiencing an upsetting break up. It is easy to fall into a rebound relationship soon after getting dumped. Particularly if you were involved in a lengthy, intimate relationship and the break up was sudden or unexpected. Generally someone will fall into a rebound relationship in order to seek the love, worth and affection of a partner to replace that gap that has been left by the previous partner.

Rebound relationships can workout in the long term, however, getting that respite from the end of the previous relationship is also important. A rebound relationship can be a quick fix solution to the hollow feeling left after a relationship. The new partner becomes a substitute for your previous partner. This can spell havoc for a new relationship as your expectations will probably be based on the behaviour and characteristics of your previous partner. Rebound relationships can also be the result of trying to make up for "lost time" spent mourning the previous relationship or an attempt to compete with the ex by finding a new partner before he or she does.
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The significance of horoscopes for finding a mate

September 11th 2006 00:48
Who here is into horoscopes? I’m one of those skeptical scientific types. If a phenomenon can’t be explained by some neat logical equation or law of nature I have a hard time taking it seriously. I always took for granted that people didn’t really take horoscopes all that seriously anymore. It was something you’d nonchalantly read in the back of a magazine when there was nothing else to entertain yourself with. A couple months ago I meet a random guy in a bar and we got into the usual bar scene chit chat. We were getting on quite well and he enquired when my birthday was.

“July 17th” I replied.
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Would you change your beliefs/religion for a partner?

September 8th 2006 00:10
I think this is a particular issue of interest for Australia due to the huge diversity of cultures and backgrounds that the country attracts. A community of just about any religion, nationality or culture can be found within Australian borders. The taboo of mixed race relationships has been largely combated. Inevitability there are always going to be bigots who believe that people should only marry within their own race, but at large the culture is very accepting of mixed race relationships.

Religious beliefs still seem to polarize the population. I can understand to this polarization. I’m one of those heathen atheists, but I can only imagine that any religious beliefs are a significant part of someone’s identity. Yet with the vast mix of religious beliefs within Australian culture it is inevitable that two people with different beliefs may fall in love. How does a couple deal with this situation? I think religious beliefs have to be treated as any other difference that you may have with your partner.
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Would you mind rubbing my buttock?

September 7th 2006 00:42
I apologize in advance for using this post for my rather self indulgent question, however, I’m in somewhat of a pickle. Summer is just about over and with the fall weather well and truly starting I decided to turn over a proverbial new leaf and get back into running. With grand visions of entering the Boston Marathon I have somewhat overzealously run myself in to a pain in the arse. I came to the abrupt realization that I’m not as lithe nor as quick to recover as I once was. It seems that one week of running and I’ve sustained an ‘overuse’ injury. I’ve gotten one of those buttock/lower back/hip pains. A deep tissue radiating type throbbing that has me hobbling like a cripple.

I had a similar injury a few years ago and sought the expertise of a sports physio. Upon hopping up onto his table of pain he rolled me onto my side, yanked my ankle somewhere near my ear and proceeded to grind his elbow into my buttock. It was the most painful experience of my life. Torn hamstrings, broken bones, dislocations, believe me nothing is on par with the pain of an elbow digging into your buttock pressure point. Nevertheless, it was also a good sort of pain. I could feel the muscle tension disappearing the harder he dug. Half of me wanted to cry like a little baby. The other half wanted to yell, “harder, deeper!” which probably would have left the rest of the clinic feeling rather uncomfortable.
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Speed Dating

September 6th 2006 00:03
Can you really meet the man or women of your dreams after just a few minutes of casual chit-chat? According to the promoters of speed dating it is definitely within the realm of possibility.

I like to think of speed dating as a form of sport. Its like a job interview, blind date and a game of musical chairs all rolled into one. The way that it works is that you’ll get three to ten minutes (depending on the organization) to chat to a potential partner. You’ll keep changing places successively chit chatting with a bunch is eligible new singles over the course of the session. Generally speaking you’ll probably get to meet 10 to 25 different potential dates during the experience.
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How to read a personal ad

September 5th 2006 00:20
Half the ordeal of finding a partner through personal adverts is sorting out the mumbo from the jumbo. There is this prevalence in the personals world where people feel the need to embellish their qualities. Heaven forbid a personal advert features a regular Joe, with a regular job with a couple regular interests. Admittedly, the personals adverts are there to promote the date seeker so embellishment is to be expected. I guess a little exaggeration is to be expected, but when people flat out lie they’re just wasting everybody’s time. Personally I don’t understand the point of lying on a personals ad. It s a very short sighted tactic for attracting some initial attention, but once the dirty little secret is out of the bag I doubt anyone would be interested in further contact. You’ve labeled yourself as untrustworthy from the start.

One of the most common lies you’ll find in the personals arena is the old knocking off a few years trick. Let’s face it, no one wants to be 40 and desperate. But if that is what you are, god damn, deal with it and embrace it. If you can’t accept and respect who you are, what hope do you have of finding someone who will accept and respect yourself. Lying about age is as common among men’s personals as it is among the women’s. This isn’t a gender specific problem. For some reason posting a classifieds after a certain age just seems to be social taboo. Not to say this is a middle age plus related problem. There are plenty of classifieds posters who seem to be celebrating their 5th 24th birthday.
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Does anyone actually get off like a Porn Star?

September 4th 2006 00:35
I always took for granted that the stuff on porn flicks was all harmless fun, fantasy and fiction. Who really turns up on your front door step in tight shorts and an 80’s moustache to exclaim that they’ve come to “clean ze pool” ???? Recently I’ve come to learn that there is an element of truth in porn. Its not all digital embellishment there really are unfortunate men out there that are endowed with a third forearm sized member. And I’m talking girth not just length. I say unfortunate because I could imagine trying to go about daily activities with a veritable limb dangling between your legs. I guess Shirvo managed, but not without the eyes of the population focused squarely on his neither region. Does anyone actually remember any of Shirvo’s running achievements? I can only recall the jumbling landmass which lycra could do nothing in terms of support.

However, I digress… The startling realization that came with learning that some men are hung like pornstars is the possibility that other elements of porn may not be exaggerations either. I must admit, if the rest of the population is porning it up, my sex life is in dire need of a makeover.
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The Hoff

September 1st 2006 00:09
Boys lock away your girlfriends and brace yourself for utter studliness. Watch and learn… it’s the HOFF in action.


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