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Personals - November 2006

First Dates – Who pays the bill?

November 30th 2006 00:42
When it comes to the first date, what is the general consensus with pay for the bills? Traditionally, it was always the male’s department to pick up the tab, but traditionally women were far more financially dependent on men too. Times have changed, have the rules of dating etiquette moved with the times?

If you are a female and you can finance your end of a date then you’re an absolute scrooge if you don’t offer to pay your share on a first date. I stress the notion of offering. If a guy feels it is his duty/need/desire to pay I don’t believe in making a fuss and insisting on paying. There is something very sweet about an old school style date where a guy treats you to a nice dinner, a cocktail or a movie. However, I think that by having someone pay for a date that should oblige you to offer services behave in a manor that you’re not comfortable with. This is generally why I prefer to pay for my end of a date. Until I get to know the person, I don’t want to feel the sense of obligation that comes along with someone lavishing you with meals and entertainment.

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If you’re happy (& single) and you know it clap your hands!

November 29th 2006 00:40
Do you hate being single, yet can’t seem to break the perpetual singledom cycle. Sure there has been the odd date, but you can barely remember the last time you truly felt some wholesome loving. You’ve lost that loving feeling and before long the ole mojo will be throwing in the towel too. Times are getting desperate, and it is in these times of barren singledom that people can become their own worst enemies. The problem may not be that you’re not funny/attractive/interesting enough, rather it may just be a case of trying too hard.

There are two people in this world. Those that are comfortable with their own company and don’t yearn for a partner and those that are a tad more co-dependent side. If you are accustomed to having a partner around, being single can be a terrifying and lonely experience. There is a certain void, and incompleteness. When you’ve been in a long term relationship and called it quits, of course you’re going to feel a great sense of withdrawal and possibly confusion. It has been a while since you’ve had to fend for yourself in the cold and hostile bachelor/spinster world. For some, losing a partner is like is akin to getting a lost. What do single people do on a Friday night?

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Relationship Compatibility

November 28th 2006 00:47
Ask just about any seasoned veteran and they’ll tell you that the key to relationship bliss in the long-term is all about compatibility. But what exactly is compatibility? If you both like arthouse films and support the same footy team, will that necessarily translate to a lifetime of happiness? What exactly is compatibility and how can we determine if we’ve found someone who we’re compatible with? And is there any truth to the idea that opposites attract? Could someone completely incompatible actually be your lifetime soul mate?

If you’re thinking compatibility is all about liking the same sort of music and cuisine, guess again. There is a whole lot more to a relationship than sharing common interests. When it comes to breaking the ice and getting to know each other as well as forging some common activities to develop a bond, then yes, common interests are definitely important. I also think that it is important to bring something new and fresh to a relationship also. Think of a relationship like a communal feast. It is far more fun if along with the usual fare someone brings along a little extra exotic dish.
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Shame they’re a dud in the sack

November 27th 2006 00:52
Have you ever met someone that you’ve immediately clicked with? On a personal level your share similar interests, have the same sense of humour and find that you can talk for hours about with someone who feels like your equal. It almost seems like you’ve found someone worth putting a bit of effort into developing a serious relationship. You take things slow and there’s a renewed spring in your step with the prospect of starting what promises to be a great relationship. Everything is dandy, your well on the way to he love of your life, but things come to a crashing halt when the clothes come off. It turns out that the best thing to have stepped into your life recently also happens to be a dud in the sack. What do you do?

I’m somewhat speaking from experience. Recently, I met this great guy and we started dating and getting to know each other better. From the word go, there was a personal chemistry. We were into the same sort of stuff, could chit chat for hours, had similar life experiences and as well as remarkably comparable short term and long term goals. When it comes to relationship matter I tend to err on the cynical side, yet for the first time I really felt like I found someone with whom I shared a good connection with.
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Snooping on your partner?

November 24th 2006 00:04
There are countless opportunity to rifle through a partner’s belongings. Have you ever snuck a peak through your partner’s personal possessions? Had a quick flick through their stored mobile phone text messages, peaked a glance at their mail, thumbed through that journal on the dresser or roved around in the underwear drawer? The immediate thought when it comes to snooping is of a possessive, obsessive and suspect lover who’s searching for clues about a secret life or infidelity. Generally though, I don’t think that this is the case. I think it is more a matter of casual curiosity that leads people to commit the occasional snooping sin. It’s only natural that we want to know every aspect of our partners, what makes them tick, what dirty and sexy little secrets they might have and what sized underwear they wear.

However, is a little harmless snooping ever ok? I always track back to the “do unto others as you would want them to do unto you,” routine. So personally I wouldn’t give a stuff if a partner was snooping through my belongings although I would certainly find it a little disconcerting. I’m not the bashful type, nor do I hide secrets from my partners or for that matter friends. I’d like to think that if a partner wanted to know something about me, no matter how embarrassing, I’d be able to front with an answer. Whether any past lovers have rifled though my personal possessions as I took a shower, I’ll never know. There has never been an awkward instance when I walked in on someone with their noses deep in the far reaches of my bedside draw.
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Should women propose to their boyfriends?

November 23rd 2006 00:11
There is no law that prevents women from issuing a marriage proposal to their boyfriends, but it is a pretty rare occurrence. The responsibility of taking a relationship to the next level is almost always left up to the male. The prevailing unwritten rule is that men do the proposing. Women can suggest, coerce and employ their friends and family to push a guy to propose, but the final frontier of women proposing remains a social taboo.

Women are no longer the wall flowers that wait for a man to ask them out on a date. Society is as accepting of a woman asking a man on a date as the man asking the woman. People may rant and rave that it’s the 21st century and woman can break the traditional rules, yet when it comes to marriage proposals we don’t see all that many cases of the woman asking for her boyfriend’s hand in marriage. Is it just tradition getting in the way or are their valid reasons for why women shouldn’t propose to men? What do the men of Orble think about getting a marriage proposal from a woman?
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What would you do if you and your partner had differing views about having kids?

November 22nd 2006 00:36
The wish to have or not kids is a pretty big factor in any relationship. Check out most internet dating sites and one of the questions usually asked in the profile questionnaire is whether or not kids are wanted. Right off the bat you can toss off any potential suitors that don’t have the same long term end goal as you. But what happens when you’ve found someone, fallen in love and discover their views towards kids are completely different to yours. Would you bother continuing a relationship with someone who has a fundamentally different wish about kids to you?

Its all very well when you’re in your youth. Families, kids and settling down are far off dreams. It’s not unusual for young lovers to have no desire for kids or cast off the issue as something to put into the “sometime” category. But for anyone who does eventually want to have kids, there comes a time when cluckiness settles in and suddenly the urge to start a family or at least start stabilizing a nest begins.
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What’s worse… Doing the dumping or getting dumped?

November 21st 2006 01:08
Pulling the final curtain call on any relationship is going to be difficult. But, when it comes to blowing the final whistle and calling it quits I wonder who has got the worst end of the stick, the dumper or the dumpee? Intuitively, I’ve always felt sorry for anyone that has gotten dumped. There’s nothing quite as horrible as realizing that the person of your dreams doesn’t feel the same way about you. However, for any decent minded individual, fronting up and honestly letting someone know you don’t want to continue a relationship in the most sensitive sort of way would be a really difficult thing to do also.

Of course, if you happen to be a heartless, arsewipe, dumping someone shouldn’t result in exhaustive lamenting. I’d like to think the significant portion of the population isn’t so heartlessly inclined and they actually take the event of dumping someone with a little more empathy.
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Have you ever been to a bizarre wedding?

November 20th 2006 00:09
I was reading the trash talk about Tomcat’s recent nuptials and I must say these Scientologist’s have some bizarre wedding rituals. Well its not like everyone must come in alien fancy dress and give offerings to the extraterrestrials but the wedding vows are more than a little strange.

According to the masses of media coverage the vows that will be presented to Tom will go along the lines of, "Now Tom, girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills. A pan, a comb, perhaps a cat."
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Forbidden Relationships – Students and Teachers

November 17th 2006 00:49
There’s no denying that there is something highly attractive about authority figures. Developing a crush on your high school teacher or university lecturer is an amazingly common event. Whether it be a school teacher or a university professor, getting involved with an academic advisor is relationship seppuku for you and the academic superior. What may seem like an innocent fling can lead to all sorts of repercussions for you and the authority figure, typically involving expulsion from the teaching institute and a whole lot of stigmatism from your peers.

Professors are easy to fall in love with. You stare at them for hours. They're punctual. They're great listeners. They don't believe in "stupid questions." They're usually fairly intelligent. And they stimulate your mind in ways you never imagined. Professors and people of authority have a way of making those under them feel comfortable, stimulated and desired - all things associated with love.
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Forbidden Relationships – Someone else’s spouse

November 16th 2006 00:47
There's no denying that falling for someone forbidden can be a buzz. When it comes to the case of those that are taken, I think there is some sort of territorial urge which drives certain people to regard married people as an attractive forbidden fruit. Then there is the element of plain old attraction. It’s easy to fall for someone before you really get to know their personal situation. Lust can lead us down treacherous paths. If you’ve ever been in the situation of falling for a married person you’ll know how lust can make us bend morals in an attempt to justify cheating. It takes will power, determination and self control to steer our hearts away from a dangerous, taboo relationship.

Loving someone who is married can be wretched. Take this question which was published by a torn woman considering a relationship with a married man…
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Forbidden Relationships – Your Boss

November 15th 2006 01:33
I guess there are times we all want to see our boss get screwed, some people are more active than others and then there are those that take the notion a little too literally. Most people spend close to half to almost most of their waking hours at work – it’s a home away from home. Work is hard enough to drag yourself out of bed for each day let alone having to deal with former friends or acquaintances getting bitchy, dishing out issues or causing a general hostile environment.

Anyone who is looking to date his or her boss needs to ask one important question: why? It’s the same question everyone needs to ask themselves when they’re looking to date anyone, but it’s extra special when dating your boss. Dating becomes a different game when the significant other controls your paycheck. It’s fine if you get together, things develop and you get married and live a life of bliss. It is possible that you end up that way, but it’s not something you want to bet on.
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Forbidden Relationships – Flatmates and Housemates

November 14th 2006 01:31
Sometimes living with people you don’t have any emotional attachment to (whether it be friendship or something more) can make life a whole lot easier on the domestic front. When it comes to the everyday matter of living, keeping a level rational head can be the make or break factor that determines how smoothly your daily at home lifestyle runs. Some will argue that there is this unwritten law of nature that prevents men and women who interacting frequently and casually from forming some sort of sexual attraction. I don’t necessarily believe that it’s the whole truth, but I have definitely witnessed a whole lot of relationships that have blossomed out of share accommodation. One week they’re a housemate, the next it is a roommate.

The conundrum is that shagging your housemate can lead to all sorts of trouble. The big factor is of course that you have to live together and are generally bonded for a significant amount of time by the lease. So if things go sour quickly there is going to be a whole lot of nastiness going on in the domestic front. Don’t be surprised to come home and find your room has been ransacked, groceries adultered and personal possessions pawned. There is much to be said on the sanity of a jilted lover.
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Forbidden Relationships – Friends Siblings

November 13th 2006 00:40
When it comes to dating just about anyone is fair game. Not to say that there aren’t a few boundaries that you probably shouldn’t cross. No matter how dead sexy or appealing someone may be, there are a few situations that you really ought to think twice about before jumping into a relationship with. At least recognize that if you choose to play with fire, it is bound to lead to an explosive situation somewhere down the track. Here are a few relationships that I would consider a bad idea at face value.

Your best friend’s sibling
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Stripteasing

November 10th 2006 00:49
Well, it’s my new boyfriend’s birthday in two weeks and I’m completely stumped with what to get him. Anyway, whilst I mill over a present, I thought I’d sport him to some raunchy in the boudoir… a striptease.

Stripping isn’t exactly one of my big past times. I’ve also discovered that there is a decided lack of education resources out there for “becoming a professional stripping as a novice wishing to master the art in a part time two week capacity.” I have a feeling my complete lack of flexibility is going to be the major sticking point in my success. When I was living in Sydney, on the odd occasion I found myself in the sleazy confines of a Kings Cross stripclub at some ungodly hour of the morning. Such were the perils of socializing with a band of young hormonal males.
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Summer Loving Date Ideas

November 9th 2006 00:30
Now that Spring is truly in and summer is just around the corner it is time to emerge from the couch, pizza and movie dates and get into some seasonal warm weather dating. The day’s are longer which means that there are plenty of hours in the day to fit in some fun daytime activities to mix up your dates. These are a couple ideas that will be perfect for the warmer months.

1) Try couples gardening. Grab a gardening book or visit your local nursery to find out what plants are seasonal and get planting together. If a garden is a rare commodity for you or your partner try volunteering for a bush regeneration program in your local area and spend an afternoon planting trees and regenerating a local area. You’ll feel good about providing a great community service and it’s a great team building exercise for a couple. Plus, there’s nothing more exciting than getting dirty with your better half.
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Faith Hill Cracks the Shits and Spits the Dummy on Air

November 8th 2006 02:51


Ok, so Faith Hill may not have anything to do with a personals blog but I couldn't resist posting this little gem of Faith Hill's dummy spit during the Country Music Awards


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The Slut-Stud Paradox

November 8th 2006 00:29
Take two adults, one a man the other a woman. Both have a veritable White Pages size list of previous sexual partners. The male is given a slap on the back and hailed a stud, the female is shamed and labeled a slut. Its an injustice that I’ve never been able to grasp. Why is it that society views sexual partners as conquests for males and precious commodities for females?

My only explanation is that it is some sort of natural evolutionary throwback. I’ve been lead to believe that the males natural urge is to spread his genes and to sire a new generation. The wider he casts the net, the greater the chance of spreading the genes. Females play the role of selection. They’re supposed to seek out the best and strongest genes to ensure a healthy and strong lineage.
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How do you mend a broken heart?

November 7th 2006 00:27
Some believe that when you fall of the horse, the best thing to do is to jump right back on. Others prefer to mope about and lick their wounds for a few months. Personally, I find distraction is the key getting over a break up. What is it that you do to get over the grieving rut that follows the end of a relationship?

As I said, distraction works best for me. Whether it be catching up with a few missed drinks and nights of revelry with mates, starting a new and grueling fitness regime or taking to a new hobby like… I donno… homemaking. I figure if I can keep the mind busy there’s little time to reflect on what was.
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List Your Alpha Male

November 6th 2006 00:17
Sometimes the simplest posts are the best. Post up who your male idols or role models are and describe some of the features that make them desirable to you. What characteristics make them appealing. They can be real or fictional characters. Celebrities, musicians, politicians, sports personalities go nuts.

In terms of masculinity, I thought the character of Marv in Sin City was a good caricatures of an alpha male. He had that brutishness and total disregard for rules and expectations. Marv is his own man, he decided how, what and when things would be done. He had that real, ‘I don’t give a shit’ sort of attitude which I think is appealing. At the same time he had a strong ethical code. His own well being was pushed aside to avenge the death of his one night stand Goldie.
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Dating: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.

November 3rd 2006 00:55
Ever noticed that some of the most volatile relationships can be the best? One of my good friends has been in and out of a relationship with a girl for over a year. They’ll follow this cycle of being together for a couple months, have a fight over something and not talk for a few weeks. During the break up period you’ll never here the end of how much of a loser the ex is and this time its for good. Wait a month and suddenly they’re back on talking terms, followed by friends, friends with benefits and then in the flash of an eye its back to official coupledom status.

What compels people to follow these brutal relationships? It seems to be a continual roller coaster of tears and passionate love. I suppose some people are drawn to the excitement that such a relationship provides. There is something to be said for the thrill of the chase. Perhaps some people don’t like the idea of a settled and steady relationship. Giving them action and drama, makes them feel alive. By never really knowing where a relationship is heading from one day to the next it keeps an adrenaline pumping through the relationship.
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What secrets do you keep from your partner?

November 2nd 2006 01:30
For some reason I had The Angels, “No Secrets” song in my head all day today. I’m not sure if it was some sort of subliminal message but it has inspired today’s post… what secrets have you or would you keep from a partner?

Trust, honesty and openness are always purported to be the foundations of any strong, long lasting relationship. That said, everyone has got skeletons in their closet and sure there are some things you’ve at least thought twice about sharing with a partner. That nudie run in high school, the big night during college when you woke up in some random’s bed, we’ve all got events in our lives that we regret. Sometimes it just seems easier to push them to the back of your mind and the backburner of “things I should really tell my girlfriend/boyfriend about.”
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Relationship Breakers

November 1st 2006 01:02
When it comes to a committed intimate relationship what are the issues that are no compromise relationship breakers? What would your partner have to do to completely jeopardize your relationship?

A breach of trust and honesty would be high on my list of things that could potentially ruin a relationship. However, I’ve always considered myself to be relatively forgiving. It would be highly dependent on the circumstances but I wouldn’t list cheating as a definite relationship breaker. If there was a total lack of respect, little display of remorse or serial behaviour, well then I would adopt a ‘one strike and you’re out’ policy. I don’t believe in the once a cheater, always a cheater mantra. We can all make mistakes. Point of the matter, cheating isn’t necessarily on my list of deal breakers.
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