Always Mates Before Dates

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Always Mates Before Dates

May 18th 2006 02:10

It is THE moral conundrum, can you date your friends ex. At some stage of our lives almost all of us are bound to generate a secret crush on one of our friends partners or ex-partners. If we’re lucky, the feeling is one sided and passes before anything regrettable unfolds. For the unfortunate, the feelings are mutual. One alcohol fuelled party and its game on. Buckle your seatbelts because mixing friends and their ex lovers is bound to be a bumpy ride. There’s nothing technically wrong with dating a friends ex. Their relationship is history, so its not as though you are doing the dirty on a mate. That said, its fair to say that its not the most socially acceptable behaviour.

Breaking up is hard and it is going to take some time for your friend to get over it. It is really important to get the support of friends and family after a break up. You need that support network to help you get over the shock, anger, resentment and grief. Starting up with your mates ex is only going to make the experience of breaking up that little bit worse for them. It is only natural that they’re going to feel betrayed. They’ll be questioning whether you and the ex were having a fling during their relationship. Whether it is the truth or not, it can be easily construed that you were the actual cause of the break up. That will be the general consensus not matter at how much of a later period of time you hook up with the ex. Straight after a break up your friend is going to need some morale boosting and possibly someone to vent or bitch to. By going after their ex, not only are you not there to support your friend, you are really turning the knife on their temporary low self esteem and morale. If your friend still has feeling for their ex, you can imagine how much hurt and jealousy they are going to feel knowing that you’re fooling about with an ex.

No matter how amicable or mutual the break up may have seemed, you’re never going to know the full story. The ‘mutual break up’ is a popular reason for breaking up, yet I think that there is still some degree of grief, sadness and anger associated with even the smoothest of break ups. Let’s face it, if the relationship was dandy, your friend and their ex wouldn’t be breaking up. If they’ve simply grown apart, something must have been going on behind the scenes for this rift to have had occurred. There must have been a period of tension before two people can come to the conclusion that they’re not suitable for eachother.

Always Mates Before Dates

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