Harry
CibbuanoAre There People You Will Never Totally Get Over? - Part One
July 18th 2006 00:07
A couple days ago I got a random email from an old ex-fuck buddy, Tom and it’s been playing on my mind ever since I opened the damn thing. The background to this new conundrum goes as follows.
Three years ago I got a short internship at a company which was a necessary component of my university degree. I kind of clicked with one of my co-workers and after discovering we shared some similar interests we decided to hit the town together on a Friday night after work. Well combine a few drinks with the fact that I was quite attracted to him and soon enough a nightcap back at his place turned into something more. If the story sounds familiar, this was the office fling I described in an earlier post.
Anyhow, I was completely attracted to him, but I think the fact that I was the office intern, still a student, seven years younger and probably not very worldly really stopped things progressing beyond a physical attraction on his part. I would have liked it to be more, he was well aware of the fact, but in the circumstances I could understand that this was never going to be anything serious or long term. With that understanding, I compromised and figured I’d enjoy the man whilst I had the chance. It panned out into an interesting sort of “relationship.” From my biased perspective I think we got on really well, especially in a personal setting. However, something clearly wasn’t right for him as there were times he would seem quite distant and then other times when he was all too willing to chat about our common interests and goals. From discussions it was apparent that he had a string of distant relationships and had no intention of ever really getting into a serious long term relationship with anyone. As he put it, he enjoyed being by himself and got used to it. I’d like to think that he was more interested in me than just as a convenient screw. At the same time, it would be naïve to rule this out and I guess I’ll never quite know.
Sure enough, my internship finished, he was posted to some far corner of the globe for 6 months to do a training course. I’m not one for long winded stints of emailing and phone calls, long distant relationships and me just don’t gel. The end of my internship, heralded the end of the affair. I was a little sad, it did feel like I had lost something important. Obviously I enjoyed his company and still really liked him, but I was glad that I had the brief fling rather than never done anything and always wondered. Contact after that summer was limited to meeting up once at an industry Christmas party later that year and nothing really came of it. Since that time, I haven’t heard or spoken to him.
Ok, so that’s the background, now jumping back to this impromptu email. As I’ve said, its been a good two or more years since I’ve heard so much as a whimper out of Tom. We didn’t part in bad terms or anything and there’s no animosity between us. However, I still find it totally bizarre that he just so happened to see my name spring up recently and decided to send an email “cherrio.” It really caught me by surprise and I did a double take when I saw his name pop up when I was checking my work emails. I just can’t understand why anyone would bother to send an out of the blue email explaining what they were up to and enquiring what my long term future plans were. I could possibly understand doing something like this if it was an ex from a serious long-term relationship. In those circumstances, people seem to stay in contact on and off for life. But this was just a short fling which he was adamant would remain a fling and nothing more.
To be cont'd....
Three years ago I got a short internship at a company which was a necessary component of my university degree. I kind of clicked with one of my co-workers and after discovering we shared some similar interests we decided to hit the town together on a Friday night after work. Well combine a few drinks with the fact that I was quite attracted to him and soon enough a nightcap back at his place turned into something more. If the story sounds familiar, this was the office fling I described in an earlier post.
Anyhow, I was completely attracted to him, but I think the fact that I was the office intern, still a student, seven years younger and probably not very worldly really stopped things progressing beyond a physical attraction on his part. I would have liked it to be more, he was well aware of the fact, but in the circumstances I could understand that this was never going to be anything serious or long term. With that understanding, I compromised and figured I’d enjoy the man whilst I had the chance. It panned out into an interesting sort of “relationship.” From my biased perspective I think we got on really well, especially in a personal setting. However, something clearly wasn’t right for him as there were times he would seem quite distant and then other times when he was all too willing to chat about our common interests and goals. From discussions it was apparent that he had a string of distant relationships and had no intention of ever really getting into a serious long term relationship with anyone. As he put it, he enjoyed being by himself and got used to it. I’d like to think that he was more interested in me than just as a convenient screw. At the same time, it would be naïve to rule this out and I guess I’ll never quite know.
Sure enough, my internship finished, he was posted to some far corner of the globe for 6 months to do a training course. I’m not one for long winded stints of emailing and phone calls, long distant relationships and me just don’t gel. The end of my internship, heralded the end of the affair. I was a little sad, it did feel like I had lost something important. Obviously I enjoyed his company and still really liked him, but I was glad that I had the brief fling rather than never done anything and always wondered. Contact after that summer was limited to meeting up once at an industry Christmas party later that year and nothing really came of it. Since that time, I haven’t heard or spoken to him.
Ok, so that’s the background, now jumping back to this impromptu email. As I’ve said, its been a good two or more years since I’ve heard so much as a whimper out of Tom. We didn’t part in bad terms or anything and there’s no animosity between us. However, I still find it totally bizarre that he just so happened to see my name spring up recently and decided to send an email “cherrio.” It really caught me by surprise and I did a double take when I saw his name pop up when I was checking my work emails. I just can’t understand why anyone would bother to send an out of the blue email explaining what they were up to and enquiring what my long term future plans were. I could possibly understand doing something like this if it was an ex from a serious long-term relationship. In those circumstances, people seem to stay in contact on and off for life. But this was just a short fling which he was adamant would remain a fling and nothing more.
To be cont'd....
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