Harry
CibbuanoThe science behind beer goggles. Aka… Why you woke up next to Chewbacca’s love child.
October 9th 2006 02:02
You wake to a throbbing headache, confused, disorientated and in unfamiliar surrounds. Your temples pulse and you mind scrambles at snail’s pace to try to reconstruct your last memories. The jolt of waking is somewhat soothed as you become more familiar with the environment. A wave of comfort follows as it dawns on you that you haven’t woken up in a prison cell, on a nature strip, median strip or park bench sans a wallet. Nope, you’re in the buff, snug as a bug and the birds are gently chirping outside your window. By all accounts it seems like the night was topped off perfectly. Chuffed with your luck you smile and roll over to inspect your prize.
It’s usually at this point when the smile disappears like a sock in the laundry. There’s confusion… “shit, did I even stick it in?” An attempt to retrace the steps. And a fumbling quick check to make sure everything else survived the wash.
So how do we get ourselves into these situations? None other than a case of the beer goggles. It affects women just as much as men. After reading this article in the SMH, suddenly the mechanism of the beer goggles becomes clear.
According to the article, research suggests that simpler and standard shapes are more attractive than anything that is irregular. One of the side effects of alcohol is that it tends to knock off the hard edges and irregularities of what we see. Everything is a little bit fuzzy. Our thoughts will get dumbed down, anything too complex will get simplified. The same processes occur to our perception. As the brain takes time out in a puddle of ethanol it is difficult to make out the details of whatever it is that’s in front of us. Rather than getting caught up in the details we’ll simplify the shape and object.
In cartoons and tv, the camera will usually depict the beer goggles morphing a minger into a Macpherson. I don’t think that is actually what is happening. My theory is that the beer goggles are morphing the minger into a blob. Blobs are pretty simple, there’s nothing all that complex, actually they’re kind of attractive… god damn… don’t you just want to bang one right now?
So that’s my theory on what’s actually going on with the beer goggle phenomenon. What’s your take? How do the beer goggles manage to trick us into sleeping with someone atrocious?
It’s usually at this point when the smile disappears like a sock in the laundry. There’s confusion… “shit, did I even stick it in?” An attempt to retrace the steps. And a fumbling quick check to make sure everything else survived the wash.
So how do we get ourselves into these situations? None other than a case of the beer goggles. It affects women just as much as men. After reading this article in the SMH, suddenly the mechanism of the beer goggles becomes clear.
According to the article, research suggests that simpler and standard shapes are more attractive than anything that is irregular. One of the side effects of alcohol is that it tends to knock off the hard edges and irregularities of what we see. Everything is a little bit fuzzy. Our thoughts will get dumbed down, anything too complex will get simplified. The same processes occur to our perception. As the brain takes time out in a puddle of ethanol it is difficult to make out the details of whatever it is that’s in front of us. Rather than getting caught up in the details we’ll simplify the shape and object.
In cartoons and tv, the camera will usually depict the beer goggles morphing a minger into a Macpherson. I don’t think that is actually what is happening. My theory is that the beer goggles are morphing the minger into a blob. Blobs are pretty simple, there’s nothing all that complex, actually they’re kind of attractive… god damn… don’t you just want to bang one right now?
So that’s my theory on what’s actually going on with the beer goggle phenomenon. What’s your take? How do the beer goggles manage to trick us into sleeping with someone atrocious?
| 102 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
Comment by Homer Joyce
Your Beer Goggles post cracked me up ...
And here was me thinking that girl had snuk out of my bed during the night and devoured the contents of the fridge ...
Homer ...
Desperation is a tender trap ... it get's you every time - U2 ...