Harry
CibbuanoDating outside your age range
September 19th 2006 00:14
What are people’s thoughts on dating people who are significantly older or younger? In fact, where do you draw the line at too old or too young? It seems to be far more socially acceptable for women to be younger than their male partner. We only need to look at the media scrutiny that was dished out to Demi Moore for her cradle snatching efforts. Meanwhile Michael Douglas’ efforts with Catherine Zeta Jones hardly raised an eyebrow.
It seems a tad old that the traditional older male, younger woman couple should still be considered the ideal couple. In an ideal world, it really should be just be a matter of compatibility. Age may just be a number, but we all carry around our own prejudices when it comes to the age of our partners. A couple months ago I went on a date with a younger guy. He was only two years my junior but it felt so weird. I’ve also dated a guy who was 10 years my senior, everyone thought it was really bizarre and a bit weird. I even felt a bit self conscious about it, even though we actually got on amazingly well. It may have been rather fickle, but I ended up closing that relationship due to the age gap. I still have mixed feelings as to whether dumping the guy was the right thing to do, or whether an age gap was even an appropriate reason to end an otherwise great relationship.
The age factor and age difference changes in significance depending on your age. When you’re in your late teens and perhaps up to your mid 20’s dating someone more than a few years outside of your age range is considered risqué. The older you get the more comfortable you’ll be with a larger variance in age. I believe this was definitely the factor in the weirdness I felt with that younger guy. He seemed so young and naïve, he was still coming to grips with that transition from teenager to adulthood. He was a really sweet guy but he was clearly just lifting the lid on the Pandora’s Box of adulthood. Those couple extra years I had on him turned out to be a world of difference. Dating him felt like I was corrupting a 16 year old and so ended our brief fling.
Personally, I don’t think that age should be a factor in a relationship. It is more a question of maturity and life experiences. There are plenty of 30 year olds who have all the youthful exuberance and immaturity of a 25 year old. There are plenty of 18 year olds who are far more worldly than their years. In my mind, this is justification to date someone outside the ‘normal’ age range, but other may not agree. From my older man experience I remember several people commenting on whether I thought the idea of him being 20 when I was 10 was somewhat disturbing. In that context, yes it certainly is. In the context of a 32 year old dating a 22 year old… it was an issue that was always in the back of my mind but was mitigated by the success of the relationship. In the context of a 42 year old dating a 32 year old, why the hell not?
It seems a tad old that the traditional older male, younger woman couple should still be considered the ideal couple. In an ideal world, it really should be just be a matter of compatibility. Age may just be a number, but we all carry around our own prejudices when it comes to the age of our partners. A couple months ago I went on a date with a younger guy. He was only two years my junior but it felt so weird. I’ve also dated a guy who was 10 years my senior, everyone thought it was really bizarre and a bit weird. I even felt a bit self conscious about it, even though we actually got on amazingly well. It may have been rather fickle, but I ended up closing that relationship due to the age gap. I still have mixed feelings as to whether dumping the guy was the right thing to do, or whether an age gap was even an appropriate reason to end an otherwise great relationship.
The age factor and age difference changes in significance depending on your age. When you’re in your late teens and perhaps up to your mid 20’s dating someone more than a few years outside of your age range is considered risqué. The older you get the more comfortable you’ll be with a larger variance in age. I believe this was definitely the factor in the weirdness I felt with that younger guy. He seemed so young and naïve, he was still coming to grips with that transition from teenager to adulthood. He was a really sweet guy but he was clearly just lifting the lid on the Pandora’s Box of adulthood. Those couple extra years I had on him turned out to be a world of difference. Dating him felt like I was corrupting a 16 year old and so ended our brief fling.
Personally, I don’t think that age should be a factor in a relationship. It is more a question of maturity and life experiences. There are plenty of 30 year olds who have all the youthful exuberance and immaturity of a 25 year old. There are plenty of 18 year olds who are far more worldly than their years. In my mind, this is justification to date someone outside the ‘normal’ age range, but other may not agree. From my older man experience I remember several people commenting on whether I thought the idea of him being 20 when I was 10 was somewhat disturbing. In that context, yes it certainly is. In the context of a 32 year old dating a 22 year old… it was an issue that was always in the back of my mind but was mitigated by the success of the relationship. In the context of a 42 year old dating a 32 year old, why the hell not?
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Bing in love and making love with someone (as long as they're of the age of consent) is about what's going on up there; in the mind.
Women mature a lot faster than men, so that's why most often there is an older guy and a younger girl.
There are some obviously relationships which are as transparent as glass, such as Anna Nicole Smith and the 90-year-old oil tycoon.
There are others which are down right morally corrupt, like Rolling Stone bassist Bill Wyman dating that 13 year old for several years (I think he eventually married her?).
Guys will often compare the two age brackets of women as such; dating a young woman (say 18-22) is great for the enthusiastic sex and often stunning physical attributes, such as a smooth, firm body. While dating an older women (35 ) guarantees a maturity of conversation and attitude, and, very importantly, sexual experience (ie knowing what they like and want and knowing exactly what to do).
The biggest age gaps I've had were dating a 19-year-old when I was 29 and dating a 40-year-old when I was 30. Both had their pros and cons, so to speak.
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