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Do you want a storybook wedding?

April 29th 2008 04:05
Enchanted wedding dress
I'm going to start this post by coming right out and saying it: I don't like weddings and the whole rancid display of excess that accompanies it.

Let me modify that: I don't like what weddings have become. I've only been to a few and some of them have bordered on narcissism.


The Guardian has an interesting article on the rising popularity of fantasy weddings, where the entire lavish spectacle mimics some grand illusion that allows the wedding to exists in a hallucinatory state.

The article talks entirely about brides designing their weddings to reflect their fantasy wedding - I've written about this before, on the topic of Bridezilla - or the Bride from Hell.

I suppose my second-biggest problem is the self-centered attitude of the bride, pivoting the entire event on herself, dragging it on with announcement parties, engagement parties, hen's nights, rehersals... all for the purpose of being at the center of attention. Well, the Guardian says it better:

"Why, then, do intelligent young women have fairytale fantasies about their wedding days, and go to such lengths to make them a reality? "Because they intend to structure the whole of their future emotional selves with reference to this day," posits Vikki Bell, professor of sociology at Goldsmiths, University of London."


Bah! How one-sided does a wedding have to be? A few more choice lines:

"...I've never seen a groom so complacent. He just went with it."

"This may explain why actress Jennifer Ellison is one of countless women planning (and booking) their wedding ceremony venues - hers at Luttrellstown Castle - before even meeting their groom."

"Women are predominantly driving the fantasy marriage movement. Roe-Hartley says that 95% of the arrangements are made by the bride-to-be."

But my biggest problem with these insane weddings is the sheer consumerism that they drive. Your fantasies are hardly unique or special. They've been marketed to you, and you've happily bought into it:

"...in 2006, the bridal segment of the Disney corporation brought in 6.4% of its $34.3bn total revenue."

"The price for predictability is rocketing. The average couple last year clocked up an £18,000 wedding bill. That's 30 times higher than the average cost in 1950, which in today's terms was £600."

To be honest, I don't actually know any women that would go to these lengths. Most of the women that I know are fantastically down to earth and treat their partner as an equal, opting for frugal, honest weddings, with a small group of friends and family.

Who are the women in these articles? Are you one? Leave a comment!


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Comments
8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Journeywoman

April 29th 2008 06:09
I hate the commercialism of weddings too. Often, these big weddings are tacky beyond belief. I've already decided that my wedding will be small and intimate... not that I've met the groom yet!

Comment by Aimzster

April 29th 2008 06:56
Hmm...I don't believe in lavish, ostentatious weddings - the kind that leaves you, your partner, both sets of parents with a debt. A lavish, ostentatious, very expensive wedding like that doesn't celebrate the union of the bride and groom to me, but border on, as you said, narcissism. Having said that, I wanted a small intimate affair for my own wedding. Unfortunately, both sets of families (huge ones) were involved and that intimate gathering went out the window.

Comment by Nick Bendel

April 29th 2008 12:06
I think the article raises some important points.

Many weddings, in my opinion, are exorbitant, egocentric extravaganzas, which completely miss the point. A wedding should be about the union of two soulmates, rather than crass self-promotion.

If you're desperate to be the centre of attention, why not throw a big party? That way, you can enjoy the spotlight, without turning something so sacred into something so demeaning.

Comment by kiwiauthor

April 29th 2008 22:13
Very good article and points of view raised, myself I would be happy just to have a simple beach or country wedding with that special person, obviously and close friends. So females out there would like the same, then drop me a line lol

Comment by Cibbuano

April 29th 2008 22:55
from these comments, it would appear that the men and women on Orble, at least, are down to earth and pleasantly frugal. Where are the people that want this kind of wedding? Speak up!


Comment by Lara M

April 30th 2008 01:26
<LOL> good post Cibb

If u recall my series of posts from engagement rings tothe day...u know that I share the same view -- that in most cases yes,
it borders on narcissism
.

Comment by Queenie

April 30th 2008 03:19
I hate weddings and I particularly hate brides especially Bridezillas. I find weddings very narcissistic. It seems people are more in love with the fantasy of the wedding and seem to forget the fact that marriage takes a lot of hard work.

Comment by kiwiauthor

April 30th 2008 08:58
It seems too many people just want to outdo their friends etc as I heard of someone who spent $40,000 nz on a wedding. Now this might not be much in us dollars or uk pounds, but I would rather spend the money on a great honeymoon.

And if anyone has ever caught any of those brides from hell tv programes, why would you really want to marry someone that materialistic or crazy??

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