Harry
CibbuanoWhat’s worse… Doing the dumping or getting dumped?
November 21st 2006 01:08
Pulling the final curtain call on any relationship is going to be difficult. But, when it comes to blowing the final whistle and calling it quits I wonder who has got the worst end of the stick, the dumper or the dumpee? Intuitively, I’ve always felt sorry for anyone that has gotten dumped. There’s nothing quite as horrible as realizing that the person of your dreams doesn’t feel the same way about you. However, for any decent minded individual, fronting up and honestly letting someone know you don’t want to continue a relationship in the most sensitive sort of way would be a really difficult thing to do also.
Of course, if you happen to be a heartless, arsewipe, dumping someone shouldn’t result in exhaustive lamenting. I’d like to think the significant portion of the population isn’t so heartlessly inclined and they actually take the event of dumping someone with a little more empathy.
I’ve had experience as both the dumper and dumpee. Neither experience is particularly pleasant, but I must admit that dumping someone that you care about in the capacity of friendship is a tremendously difficult thing to execute. In fact, I think I will tend to dwell far more about the closure of a relationship if I were the one doing the dumping rather than getting dumped.
The guilt of dumping someone seems to linger a little longer, even though you have done the right thing, you’ll feel like an arsehole. If the person that you have dumped takes the dumping really badly then you’ll feel like even more of an arsehole. It’s only when you get some sort of positive feedback from the ex that the guilt will ease. When you get dumped you get the feelings of betrayal and rejection. There is a grieving, anger and acceptance process, but it is something that you’ll bounce back from much faster than any guilt the other party will feel. Well, in my experiences anyway.
I’m interested in how other’s rate who gets the worse deal? What are some good techniques to soften the blow when you decide that someone just isn’t the one for you? How do you break the news? I’ve always thought that honesty is the best policy. If you think your reasons may be taken badly or are insulting it is better to keep the reasoning brief rather than making up some outrageous excuse.
And when if you’re not sure about the future of a relationship, make sure you apply some brakes and don’t lead the other person on. There is usually a period of time in which you may be mincing over whether you want to continue a relationship with someone or not. Whilst you shouldn’t feel pressured to dump someone until you are completely sure about you’re feelings, it is a good idea to withdraw a little and maybe discuss you’re feelings with the other person. If you don’t give any indication that you’re sizing up the relationship, of course they’re going to feel shocked and confused when you deliver the news.
Of course, if you happen to be a heartless, arsewipe, dumping someone shouldn’t result in exhaustive lamenting. I’d like to think the significant portion of the population isn’t so heartlessly inclined and they actually take the event of dumping someone with a little more empathy.
I’ve had experience as both the dumper and dumpee. Neither experience is particularly pleasant, but I must admit that dumping someone that you care about in the capacity of friendship is a tremendously difficult thing to execute. In fact, I think I will tend to dwell far more about the closure of a relationship if I were the one doing the dumping rather than getting dumped.
The guilt of dumping someone seems to linger a little longer, even though you have done the right thing, you’ll feel like an arsehole. If the person that you have dumped takes the dumping really badly then you’ll feel like even more of an arsehole. It’s only when you get some sort of positive feedback from the ex that the guilt will ease. When you get dumped you get the feelings of betrayal and rejection. There is a grieving, anger and acceptance process, but it is something that you’ll bounce back from much faster than any guilt the other party will feel. Well, in my experiences anyway.
I’m interested in how other’s rate who gets the worse deal? What are some good techniques to soften the blow when you decide that someone just isn’t the one for you? How do you break the news? I’ve always thought that honesty is the best policy. If you think your reasons may be taken badly or are insulting it is better to keep the reasoning brief rather than making up some outrageous excuse.
And when if you’re not sure about the future of a relationship, make sure you apply some brakes and don’t lead the other person on. There is usually a period of time in which you may be mincing over whether you want to continue a relationship with someone or not. Whilst you shouldn’t feel pressured to dump someone until you are completely sure about you’re feelings, it is a good idea to withdraw a little and maybe discuss you’re feelings with the other person. If you don’t give any indication that you’re sizing up the relationship, of course they’re going to feel shocked and confused when you deliver the news.
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Comment by KylieW
Celebrity Obsession
However, I have also been dumped since then, and I didn't like it that much either.
But at least I didn't have the guilt to deal with as well. I could just focus on my rage. lol.
Comment by Ruth
NSW
ACT
VIC
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WA
NT
Comment by No Myth Fitness-johnR
Comment by No Myth Fitness-johnR