Harry
CibbuanoApplying the breaks when you are moving too fast
December 26th 2006 05:07
Yesterday I looked at some of the indicators that may suggest that your relationship is progressing too fast and either you or your new love interest is getting falling in love far too fast. Here are some counter measures to help ease on the breaks and slow the relationship down a few notches before you or the partner get scared off.
1. Limit the amount of time together and also the amount of daily contact you share at the initial stages of a relationship. There is something to be said about the element of mystery which can play into the favour of a new relationship. Provided that you express your enjoyment of any contact spent together there is no need to equate hours spent together with how interested you are in the person.
2. Understand and take charge of your emotions. We all know that when we meet someone who pushes all the right buttons and leaves us smitten it can be difficult to not find ourselves falling head over heels. The key is to recognise these feelings and conciously reign in the irrational behaviour that they can sometimes encourage. The aim isn't to carefully construct every conversation and comment, but be aware of what you are doing and how you behave when you feel yourself smitten with someone. Leave your mobile phone at home if you're planning a big night an think the temptation of sending embarassing messages is going to be too great.
3. Make sure to stay focused and centered in your life. This is sometimes hard to do when you are the focus of someone’s intense attention. That attention can easily destabilize you. This is the time to keep to your routine. Go to work when you usually work, pay your bills, eat and exercise regularly and do not allow yourself to lose too much sleep. If your life gets destabilized and you lose your routine, when the heat of love subsides you will have a hard time picking up the pieces. A relationship should compliment your lifestyle, not take over.
4. Communicate your thoughts. If you feel that someone is pushing a relationship too far, too fast, let them know of your concerns. Try to be understanding, but at the same time be firm and explain that you'd like to slow the relationship down and would prefer to build the trust and friendship side of the union first. Sometimes it can be difficult for someone who is in an infatuation state to not even recognise how irrationally they may be behaving. Some sensitive communication may be just the ticket to cool things down.
5. Don't be taking advantage of a situation. Sure it may be nice to have an admirer that has made you the centre of their universe, but if the feelings are not mutual, it is bound to end in tears and tantrums. If you are unsure about your feelings do not take advantage of the situation, lead the other person on or just go with whatever they're willing to put out. Avoid sexual intimacy until you're 100% sure where the two of you stand. Don't give someone false impressions or express feelings you are not actually feeling.
1. Limit the amount of time together and also the amount of daily contact you share at the initial stages of a relationship. There is something to be said about the element of mystery which can play into the favour of a new relationship. Provided that you express your enjoyment of any contact spent together there is no need to equate hours spent together with how interested you are in the person.
2. Understand and take charge of your emotions. We all know that when we meet someone who pushes all the right buttons and leaves us smitten it can be difficult to not find ourselves falling head over heels. The key is to recognise these feelings and conciously reign in the irrational behaviour that they can sometimes encourage. The aim isn't to carefully construct every conversation and comment, but be aware of what you are doing and how you behave when you feel yourself smitten with someone. Leave your mobile phone at home if you're planning a big night an think the temptation of sending embarassing messages is going to be too great.
3. Make sure to stay focused and centered in your life. This is sometimes hard to do when you are the focus of someone’s intense attention. That attention can easily destabilize you. This is the time to keep to your routine. Go to work when you usually work, pay your bills, eat and exercise regularly and do not allow yourself to lose too much sleep. If your life gets destabilized and you lose your routine, when the heat of love subsides you will have a hard time picking up the pieces. A relationship should compliment your lifestyle, not take over.
4. Communicate your thoughts. If you feel that someone is pushing a relationship too far, too fast, let them know of your concerns. Try to be understanding, but at the same time be firm and explain that you'd like to slow the relationship down and would prefer to build the trust and friendship side of the union first. Sometimes it can be difficult for someone who is in an infatuation state to not even recognise how irrationally they may be behaving. Some sensitive communication may be just the ticket to cool things down.
5. Don't be taking advantage of a situation. Sure it may be nice to have an admirer that has made you the centre of their universe, but if the feelings are not mutual, it is bound to end in tears and tantrums. If you are unsure about your feelings do not take advantage of the situation, lead the other person on or just go with whatever they're willing to put out. Avoid sexual intimacy until you're 100% sure where the two of you stand. Don't give someone false impressions or express feelings you are not actually feeling.
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