Harry
CibbuanoHow to write a horrible online personal ad
February 29th 2008 10:50
This is a wonderfully terse ad, posted in Gumtree. The title is a simple 'females wanted' - hints of Hemingway and perhaps even Camus lilt playfully through the air.
The rest of the ad is like a powerful locomotive, both compelling and enticing:
Instead of making the obvious mistake of starting with a greeting, or describing himself, the poster has gone straight to the heart of the matter. He truly understands the female mind. Women don't want to be romanced or seduced. They want an immediate move to penetrative sex.
The use of the shorthand '4' instead of 'for' supports this idea. By shaving a precious two characters off each word, our man Kurt saved an entire 5 seconds - time well spent elsewhere having sex. Potentially with you, dear reader.
His email address makes our eyes twinkle with wonder as well... Kurt CP, fine, but 20012000? Why that number?
Did something special happen in 2001 and 2000? Does he have over 20 million dollars?
Or is it something more diabolical, like those numbers represent coordinates on a map, leading to the location of where he's being held captive?
Dear God - we've got to move NOW. We've got to get our man Kurt out of that horrible prison camp. He's one of our best agents! Aieee!
The rest of the ad is like a powerful locomotive, both compelling and enticing:
"looking 4 women 4 sex with male please reply to kurtcp20012000@yahoo.com"
Instead of making the obvious mistake of starting with a greeting, or describing himself, the poster has gone straight to the heart of the matter. He truly understands the female mind. Women don't want to be romanced or seduced. They want an immediate move to penetrative sex.
The use of the shorthand '4' instead of 'for' supports this idea. By shaving a precious two characters off each word, our man Kurt saved an entire 5 seconds - time well spent elsewhere having sex. Potentially with you, dear reader.
His email address makes our eyes twinkle with wonder as well... Kurt CP, fine, but 20012000? Why that number?
Did something special happen in 2001 and 2000? Does he have over 20 million dollars?
Or is it something more diabolical, like those numbers represent coordinates on a map, leading to the location of where he's being held captive?
Dear God - we've got to move NOW. We've got to get our man Kurt out of that horrible prison camp. He's one of our best agents! Aieee!
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Comment by swanston1
Justice for all?
Breaking the cycle.
mmappmusic
Maybe thats when he was born!! OH NO!! He cant remember if hes 7 or 8.
He sounds heart warming and sexy "NOT".
Every womans dream.
Love your posts.
Rock on
Sarah
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity
Tammy
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
Comment by charliesgirl_992000
Histeries, Mysteries and what not
Lifes little slices
Mystical Creativity