Harry
CibbuanoMan Boobies
October 10th 2006 00:25
I walked into this morning’s work meeting to discover a rather off male game of “my man boobies are bigger than your.” I’m the only female in the office and since I’m considered ‘one of the boys’ I’m in a unique position to see these nuggets of males at their finest on a daily basis. The game consisted of each of the guys contracting their pectoral muscle and using every posing technique to display the extent of their chests. Business shirts were stretched back and nipples were virtually rocketing out of the material. I’m sure some even wore patterned shirts in order to give a fuller figure.
Each male would proceed to touch, poke and squeeze whoever happened to be sporting their goods at the time. There was a whole lot of oh’s, ah’s, jesting and vulgar jokes. The think that real struck me was that the boys obviously believed that their man boobs were a physical attraction to the opposite sex. I can’t speak for all girls, but god damn, how off the mark could these guys get?
When it comes to man boobs, it is pretty widely accepted that excess fat tissue on a male’s chest isn’t the height of attractiveness. The divide is draw with muscular man boobage. Too much roundness in a guy’s pectoral region just isn’t sexy. A little muscle is fantastic, the flat disc of muscle slab is hot. When you’ve done bench presses to death, haven’t bothered stretching and look like a rockmelon has materialized every time you contract you’re chest, agh… very visually unappealing.
Here’s some visuals to describe what I’m saying.
These are both images taken from the Bodybuilding.com website of amateur bodybuilders. Both specimens have obviously worked their arses out to get their chest shapes. In my opinion, the guy who’s managed to build up this peacock like chest looks ridiculous. Seriously, he’s projecting further than Dolly Parton.
Of course it doesn’t just stop with men and their misconceptions about desirable pecs. Women are just as guilty. I’ve seen a couple chicks at the gym who painstakingly have stripped every last inch off their hinnies. The literally have run, stair climbed and pump classed their backsides away. Now according to Sir Mix A Lot, baby has got to have back. So have these women so painstakingly chiseled their bodies into undesirable shapes? I’ve fallen victim to misconception and only recently discovered that huge boobs aren’t all that big a deal. I suppose at some point we’ve all had misconceptions about what we thought the opposite sex thought was appealing.
Time to cast aside some misconceptions, what do you think the opposite sex needlessly obsesses over when it comes to desirable traits in a partner?
I’ll open the floor with men’s obsession with
1) pectoral beefage
2) penis size
3) facial hair styling (goatees etc.)
Each male would proceed to touch, poke and squeeze whoever happened to be sporting their goods at the time. There was a whole lot of oh’s, ah’s, jesting and vulgar jokes. The think that real struck me was that the boys obviously believed that their man boobs were a physical attraction to the opposite sex. I can’t speak for all girls, but god damn, how off the mark could these guys get?
When it comes to man boobs, it is pretty widely accepted that excess fat tissue on a male’s chest isn’t the height of attractiveness. The divide is draw with muscular man boobage. Too much roundness in a guy’s pectoral region just isn’t sexy. A little muscle is fantastic, the flat disc of muscle slab is hot. When you’ve done bench presses to death, haven’t bothered stretching and look like a rockmelon has materialized every time you contract you’re chest, agh… very visually unappealing.
Here’s some visuals to describe what I’m saying.
Pretty man boobs
Ugly man boobs
These are both images taken from the Bodybuilding.com website of amateur bodybuilders. Both specimens have obviously worked their arses out to get their chest shapes. In my opinion, the guy who’s managed to build up this peacock like chest looks ridiculous. Seriously, he’s projecting further than Dolly Parton.
Of course it doesn’t just stop with men and their misconceptions about desirable pecs. Women are just as guilty. I’ve seen a couple chicks at the gym who painstakingly have stripped every last inch off their hinnies. The literally have run, stair climbed and pump classed their backsides away. Now according to Sir Mix A Lot, baby has got to have back. So have these women so painstakingly chiseled their bodies into undesirable shapes? I’ve fallen victim to misconception and only recently discovered that huge boobs aren’t all that big a deal. I suppose at some point we’ve all had misconceptions about what we thought the opposite sex thought was appealing.
Time to cast aside some misconceptions, what do you think the opposite sex needlessly obsesses over when it comes to desirable traits in a partner?
I’ll open the floor with men’s obsession with
1) pectoral beefage
2) penis size
3) facial hair styling (goatees etc.)
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Comment by Joy
2) why does this matter to guys, anyway? what's the deal?
3) i personally don't like facial hair. it's so... caveman-ish if i guy lets a beard grow out of his face like that. and forgive me for stereotyping, but goatees often make a guy look creepy. unless you're antonio banderas.
Comment by Ruth
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Comment by Chantal
The penis size thing I dont get, either! I mean you dont want pinky-sized but too big is too much too!
The gay community seems to be really concerned with size but for me personally, if it's super big, it's not really any use to me!
Comment by Luke
Old Movies
Cane Toad Warrior
What about the comic book guy on the Simpsons? Surely thoust jests!
Comment by Ruth
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I'm sure all Trekkies go through a post 30's age where they feel the need to sport a goatee.
Comment by Homer Joyce
No need for me to go to a gym. I laughed my man boobies off just reading your post ...
On an aside ... is a flatmate a person with no boobies who lives with you?
Homer...
Comment by Cibbuano
Hunt Famous
Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
Techbreak
re: penis size - this is something that's been around in civilization since the dawn on mankind. Ancient Chinese novels talk about men gifted with huge penises. It'll be impossible to get rid of the obsession.
Plus, even though you're all saying you don't care about size, when you get to a certain age, you've met at least one girl that only wants 'a 9 incher or bigger', or similarly, a girl that's broken up with a nice guy to go out with a guy with a big one.
Then comes the shame. And the replying to penis-enlarging-pill emails, I guess.
Finally, in the locker room, it becomes pretty apparent that there's a correlation between penis size and how many girls you've slept with. This may be cross-correlated to confidence/arrogance, but it's there.
Then comes the shame and the purchasing of herbal erection pills, I guess.
Comment by Anonymous
but it does get embarassing when babies grab at them...
Comment by Homer Joyce
I once replied to Penis Enlargement SPAM. I asked the company if they had ever considered manufacturing Penis Reduction pills ..
Homer ...
Comment by backseat sniper
I just wish they wouldn't bounce around when I run...
Comment by Always Eighteen
Always Eighteen
Comment by Bert Maverick
Comment by Homer Joyce
Can you please do a post on girlie testicles?
Comment by LaurenD
LaurenD
Comment by Legally Brunette
My Wedding
Great post Ruthie. I entirely agree with you. I like my men toned but overly-muscular guys just look like Donkey-Kong to me.
And what's the deal with the penis obsession? NO ONE CARES, except chicks in pornos and even then, they're just pretending.
Comment by Ruth
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I specifically addressing the issue of guys and girls going to great lengths to modify their appearance, personality, possessions etc in order to become more appealing to the opposite sex. I believe there is a difference.
Homer, I'll definately work on it. I've got a jingle already...
"Does your labia hang low? Does it wobble to and fro..."
Comment by Home Natural Remedies
Comment by Ruth
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Comment by Homer Joyce
I’m scandalised.
I quit adult sex sites to concentrate on words (okay, and words about women, but romantic words, not labial references) … Why did I bother? (as he sticks his tongue into his cheek and wonders why that conjures up phallic visions) …
I agree with Home Natural Remedies. It’s a great post and I love reading the comments.
I was so relieved to read that you’re only addressing gym boobs and not middle-aged-spread boobs … There is no way I’m going to a gym to boob-up. I like my no-boobs too much to do that.
Homer