Harry
CibbuanoShould women propose to their boyfriends?
November 23rd 2006 00:11
There is no law that prevents women from issuing a marriage proposal to their boyfriends, but it is a pretty rare occurrence. The responsibility of taking a relationship to the next level is almost always left up to the male. The prevailing unwritten rule is that men do the proposing. Women can suggest, coerce and employ their friends and family to push a guy to propose, but the final frontier of women proposing remains a social taboo.
Women are no longer the wall flowers that wait for a man to ask them out on a date. Society is as accepting of a woman asking a man on a date as the man asking the woman. People may rant and rave that it’s the 21st century and woman can break the traditional rules, yet when it comes to marriage proposals we don’t see all that many cases of the woman asking for her boyfriend’s hand in marriage. Is it just tradition getting in the way or are their valid reasons for why women shouldn’t propose to men? What do the men of Orble think about getting a marriage proposal from a woman?
I think the traditional ritual of leaving the male to propose is based on the idea that men are more cautious of long term commitment than women. It is taken for granted that a woman wants to settle down with her partner and is virtually guaranteed to accept any marriage proposal. Indeed, the traditional ideology would have the woman chopping at the bit to marry her male and seal the deal.
The masculine role is to play the field, sow the oats and put off a binding commitment for as long as possible. In this sense, the progress to marriage is mostly stunted by the will of the male. The prevailing thought is that if he is not doing the proposing, he doesn’t want to be getting married.
There is some truth to this theory. I think in general women are more inclined to want to settle into a committed relationship faster than a male. I’m not sure of the mechanism but women do seem more decisive about what they want when they find a long term partner. Nevertheless, times have changed. Once marriage was deemed as essential for a woman - a way of securing her livelihood. As women have become more independent especially financially, the necessity for marriage has lessened. The need for a breadwinner has diminished. One might say that a career woman may be just as commitment phobic as any male.
Ultimately I think that the idea of proposing is completely redundant in modern society. It may be symbolic and romantic for the man to propose, but as a lifelong decision I think marriage is something that should be discussed and agreed upon between both parties much like a business contract rather than some heady, spur of the moment decision. Rather than an actual proposal, maybe it is something that should be brought up for general discussion by either the man or the woman.
Women are no longer the wall flowers that wait for a man to ask them out on a date. Society is as accepting of a woman asking a man on a date as the man asking the woman. People may rant and rave that it’s the 21st century and woman can break the traditional rules, yet when it comes to marriage proposals we don’t see all that many cases of the woman asking for her boyfriend’s hand in marriage. Is it just tradition getting in the way or are their valid reasons for why women shouldn’t propose to men? What do the men of Orble think about getting a marriage proposal from a woman?
I think the traditional ritual of leaving the male to propose is based on the idea that men are more cautious of long term commitment than women. It is taken for granted that a woman wants to settle down with her partner and is virtually guaranteed to accept any marriage proposal. Indeed, the traditional ideology would have the woman chopping at the bit to marry her male and seal the deal.
The masculine role is to play the field, sow the oats and put off a binding commitment for as long as possible. In this sense, the progress to marriage is mostly stunted by the will of the male. The prevailing thought is that if he is not doing the proposing, he doesn’t want to be getting married.
There is some truth to this theory. I think in general women are more inclined to want to settle into a committed relationship faster than a male. I’m not sure of the mechanism but women do seem more decisive about what they want when they find a long term partner. Nevertheless, times have changed. Once marriage was deemed as essential for a woman - a way of securing her livelihood. As women have become more independent especially financially, the necessity for marriage has lessened. The need for a breadwinner has diminished. One might say that a career woman may be just as commitment phobic as any male.
Ultimately I think that the idea of proposing is completely redundant in modern society. It may be symbolic and romantic for the man to propose, but as a lifelong decision I think marriage is something that should be discussed and agreed upon between both parties much like a business contract rather than some heady, spur of the moment decision. Rather than an actual proposal, maybe it is something that should be brought up for general discussion by either the man or the woman.
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