Harry
CibbuanoShut Up!: Topics that Make Men Gag
January 10th 2007 00:46
I've just finished reading a book by Kate White, 'How to Set His Thighs On Fire' - a tongue in cheek christmas gift from one of my good friends. I can say it was the most ground breaking read I've picked up lately. A lot of sheer commonsense to be honest. I'm not a big reader of the self-help genre, so it was somewhat refreshing to leave the biographies and crime novels I've been getting into lately and take the time for some inward reflection.
One thing that did really impress me about this book was that it didn't completely focus on nabbing sex and men. The title sort of threw me and I was expecting this Nazi-esque tirade of how to perfect my mind, body and aire inorder to capture the man of my dreams. Instead I found more of a mentor book that offered sound advice on sex, men, life, self-confidence, and work.
White offers her reader 86 lessons in all. She spans topics which cover all of lifes little lessons. Rather than focusing on perfecting yourself for someone else, White places emphasis the importance of personal development and finding yourself.
In all it is an easy read. The chapters are fairly short. Most only span a couple pages so you can neatly breeze through a few lessons on the bus, before bed or during those spare moments without needing to set aside some time for decent spell of reading. In other words, for the busy girl looking for some guidance, this is an ideal book.
If you're looking for straight sex advice, try a different book. The title is pretty misleading which is a bit of a disappointment. By no means is this a cover to cover tell all of hot sex tips and tricks to try.
Anyway, here's a snippet offering advice on topics women should steer clear of with menfolk.
1. Celebrity Gossip
White says, "Men don't give a damn about Jen, Brad, Angelina, Reese, Britney, Leo, Tom, Kate, Jessica or anyone else in Hollywood, no matter how big a scandal has just erupted in their lives." She says, "In fact, a man is likely to be suspicious of why you care so much."
2. Catty Gossip About your Friends
According to White, "It makes them seriously question what kind of friend you are."
3. Shoes
White says, "This includes any talk about cute shoes, shoes you gotta have, shoes that cost half your paycheck, shoes you didn't buy but should have, shoes that kill your feet, and shoes that other women are wearing."
4. Your "Fatness" or Dieting Plans
Men don't want to hear the calorie count of your lunch, or be the judge of whether or not those Capri pants make your butt look as big as Mile High Stadium.
5. Anything Involving Below-the-Belt Functions or Problems
White says, "That would include bloating, cramps, menstrual flow, yeast infections, discharge, itchiness, soreness and yes, gas."
6. People You Know only Peripherally
Like the woman in your department with the 59 ferrets. White says, "Guys want to move the ball down the field." When you're talking about someone he doesn't know, who has no real effect on his life or your life, "In his view, no progress was made from the conversation."
7. Old Boyfriends
This includes just casual references, White says, "like a rock-climbing excursion you went on together or what kind of car he owned."
Dave Nemeth, co-host of the Daytime TV show says, "Our minds run away with us. We imagine all kinds of horrible scenarios, just from that one tiny detail." Without exception, every single man we surveyed said talk "old boyfriends" should be verboten. Every single one.
8. The State of Your Union
Guys fear the "We have to talk" talk like grim death.
9. What the Two of You are Experiencing Right Now
According to White, "Women love to capture the moment with words. We'll make remarks like, 'I'm so happy right now, aren't you?' or 'Isn't this music great?'" Guys want to experience the moment, not hear about it. Unless it's coming from Bob Costas, they aren't interested in a play-by-play.
And there's more. The guys we spoke to (with tongue firmly planted in cheek, presumably – Ed) asked us to add the following topics to the do-not-talk-about-under-any-circumstances list:
10. Your True Number of Sex Partners:
The correct answer is, "Not enough to need to keep count." This is a slippery slope, ladies. It's best to adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
11. The MMF Threesome you Had in College. And Videotaped. And Posted on the Web:
He'll either be jealous as hell, or he'll want you to go for a repeat with him as the minority sex. Either way, he'll never be able to get it out of his head.
12. Anything Negative about his Best Friends or his Mother:
He's a total pig? She meddles too much? Keep it to yourself. Comments about your guy's inner circle feel like a direct hit. Don't try to make him choose between you and the people he loves. It won't work. And, it feels disloyal to him to even listen.
13. Asking, "Are you in?":
Not exactly the confidence-boosting acclaim he's hoping for. Just wait a minute and figure out the answer yourself. If you have to ask, you don't want to know.
14. Minute Details of your Encounters with your Gay Friends:
A limbic part of him is fearful your gay buddy will suddenly see the light and steal you away. Stupid, but true.
One thing that did really impress me about this book was that it didn't completely focus on nabbing sex and men. The title sort of threw me and I was expecting this Nazi-esque tirade of how to perfect my mind, body and aire inorder to capture the man of my dreams. Instead I found more of a mentor book that offered sound advice on sex, men, life, self-confidence, and work.
White offers her reader 86 lessons in all. She spans topics which cover all of lifes little lessons. Rather than focusing on perfecting yourself for someone else, White places emphasis the importance of personal development and finding yourself.
In all it is an easy read. The chapters are fairly short. Most only span a couple pages so you can neatly breeze through a few lessons on the bus, before bed or during those spare moments without needing to set aside some time for decent spell of reading. In other words, for the busy girl looking for some guidance, this is an ideal book.
If you're looking for straight sex advice, try a different book. The title is pretty misleading which is a bit of a disappointment. By no means is this a cover to cover tell all of hot sex tips and tricks to try.
Anyway, here's a snippet offering advice on topics women should steer clear of with menfolk.
1. Celebrity Gossip
White says, "Men don't give a damn about Jen, Brad, Angelina, Reese, Britney, Leo, Tom, Kate, Jessica or anyone else in Hollywood, no matter how big a scandal has just erupted in their lives." She says, "In fact, a man is likely to be suspicious of why you care so much."
2. Catty Gossip About your Friends
According to White, "It makes them seriously question what kind of friend you are."
3. Shoes
White says, "This includes any talk about cute shoes, shoes you gotta have, shoes that cost half your paycheck, shoes you didn't buy but should have, shoes that kill your feet, and shoes that other women are wearing."
4. Your "Fatness" or Dieting Plans
Men don't want to hear the calorie count of your lunch, or be the judge of whether or not those Capri pants make your butt look as big as Mile High Stadium.
5. Anything Involving Below-the-Belt Functions or Problems
White says, "That would include bloating, cramps, menstrual flow, yeast infections, discharge, itchiness, soreness and yes, gas."
6. People You Know only Peripherally
Like the woman in your department with the 59 ferrets. White says, "Guys want to move the ball down the field." When you're talking about someone he doesn't know, who has no real effect on his life or your life, "In his view, no progress was made from the conversation."
7. Old Boyfriends
This includes just casual references, White says, "like a rock-climbing excursion you went on together or what kind of car he owned."
Dave Nemeth, co-host of the Daytime TV show says, "Our minds run away with us. We imagine all kinds of horrible scenarios, just from that one tiny detail." Without exception, every single man we surveyed said talk "old boyfriends" should be verboten. Every single one.
8. The State of Your Union
Guys fear the "We have to talk" talk like grim death.
9. What the Two of You are Experiencing Right Now
According to White, "Women love to capture the moment with words. We'll make remarks like, 'I'm so happy right now, aren't you?' or 'Isn't this music great?'" Guys want to experience the moment, not hear about it. Unless it's coming from Bob Costas, they aren't interested in a play-by-play.
And there's more. The guys we spoke to (with tongue firmly planted in cheek, presumably – Ed) asked us to add the following topics to the do-not-talk-about-under-any-circumstances list:
10. Your True Number of Sex Partners:
The correct answer is, "Not enough to need to keep count." This is a slippery slope, ladies. It's best to adopt a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
11. The MMF Threesome you Had in College. And Videotaped. And Posted on the Web:
He'll either be jealous as hell, or he'll want you to go for a repeat with him as the minority sex. Either way, he'll never be able to get it out of his head.
12. Anything Negative about his Best Friends or his Mother:
He's a total pig? She meddles too much? Keep it to yourself. Comments about your guy's inner circle feel like a direct hit. Don't try to make him choose between you and the people he loves. It won't work. And, it feels disloyal to him to even listen.
13. Asking, "Are you in?":
Not exactly the confidence-boosting acclaim he's hoping for. Just wait a minute and figure out the answer yourself. If you have to ask, you don't want to know.
14. Minute Details of your Encounters with your Gay Friends:
A limbic part of him is fearful your gay buddy will suddenly see the light and steal you away. Stupid, but true.
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