Harry
CibbuanoMoving In Together
August 28th 2006 00:13
Its one thing to be dating someone or even spending several nights at eachother’s place, but there comes a time in every serious relationship when the topic of nesting together crops up. It’s a pretty big step in any relationship. In fact, I’ve seen the process of moving in as the death knell for a few relationships. Moving in together exposes all those every day habits of your partner which you may either not know about or really notice. Some people are just naturally difficult to live with. They enjoy their independence and can become a little edgy when people start invading their personal space (even if it’s a girlfriend or boyfriend).
I suppose everyone has their little quirks and pet peeves. It’s an unfortunate situation when your partner has a habit of grating on your pet peeves. Funnily enough it is usually the small things that end relationships that progress to the 'moving in together' stage. Leaving the toilet seat up, not pulling weight in the house cleaning, leaving dirty dishes, eating cereal in the bedroom, hogging the TV and inviting friends over all the time. These are just a few of the type of excuses that have culminated in an ended relationship.
Some of these excuses sound fickle. Dumping someone for eating cereal in the bedroom? Sure finding a dirty cereal bowl in your bedroom complete with caked milk and oaty remanants is well… dirty. But it seems a little irrational to be resorting to the dumping step. I think what really happens is that an issue bearing some wight rears its head. Suddenly all these smaller things start appearing exceedingly annoying. You get a snowball effect and before you know it you’re almost looking for excuses to unleash a tirade.
So how to make a smooth transition into the living together lifestyle? The key ingredient is communication. If something shits you deal with it as soon as possible. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. No doubt they’re totally in love with you to have taken the step towards a life together. I highly doubt that they’re intentionally behaving in a way to piss you off continually. No matter how small the issue, don’t let it become an excuse to harbour resentment. If your girlfriend makes a habit of stealing the last Tim Tam which you’ve been saving let her know. If your boyfriend leaves the bathroom a mess after shaving let him know. Don’t be nasty or spiteful. Simply explain very clearly what it is that they are doing that is annoying and why it is annoying you.
“Honey, would you mind wiping down the sink after you finish shaving because the soap scum is really hard to get off after it has dried onto the sink.”
Simple, direct and no one is offended.
The other big ‘no no’ is to bring up the problem in front of friends or family. It’s guaranteed to lead to a fight. Tomorrow I’ll list the top 10 tips for surviving the transition into lover co-habitation.
I suppose everyone has their little quirks and pet peeves. It’s an unfortunate situation when your partner has a habit of grating on your pet peeves. Funnily enough it is usually the small things that end relationships that progress to the 'moving in together' stage. Leaving the toilet seat up, not pulling weight in the house cleaning, leaving dirty dishes, eating cereal in the bedroom, hogging the TV and inviting friends over all the time. These are just a few of the type of excuses that have culminated in an ended relationship.
Some of these excuses sound fickle. Dumping someone for eating cereal in the bedroom? Sure finding a dirty cereal bowl in your bedroom complete with caked milk and oaty remanants is well… dirty. But it seems a little irrational to be resorting to the dumping step. I think what really happens is that an issue bearing some wight rears its head. Suddenly all these smaller things start appearing exceedingly annoying. You get a snowball effect and before you know it you’re almost looking for excuses to unleash a tirade.
So how to make a smooth transition into the living together lifestyle? The key ingredient is communication. If something shits you deal with it as soon as possible. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. No doubt they’re totally in love with you to have taken the step towards a life together. I highly doubt that they’re intentionally behaving in a way to piss you off continually. No matter how small the issue, don’t let it become an excuse to harbour resentment. If your girlfriend makes a habit of stealing the last Tim Tam which you’ve been saving let her know. If your boyfriend leaves the bathroom a mess after shaving let him know. Don’t be nasty or spiteful. Simply explain very clearly what it is that they are doing that is annoying and why it is annoying you.
“Honey, would you mind wiping down the sink after you finish shaving because the soap scum is really hard to get off after it has dried onto the sink.”
Simple, direct and no one is offended.
The other big ‘no no’ is to bring up the problem in front of friends or family. It’s guaranteed to lead to a fight. Tomorrow I’ll list the top 10 tips for surviving the transition into lover co-habitation.
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