Harry
CibbuanoCan an open relationship work?
October 12th 2006 00:42
Sunday night and I settled down to the drone of mind-numbing TV and a six pack to really mull over the pros and cons of an open relationship. This issue came up yesterday when one of my friends had her boyfriend propose an end to exclusivity in their relationship.
I’ll take a stab and assume that the majority of people would think that an open relationship is simply a way of permissible cheating. It’s for those who can’t commit, those who don’t truly love/respect their partners and those that have serious relationship issues.
The crux of the issue lies with what we each define as a relationship. That’s where the divergence of opinion comes in. If you are allowed to sleep around, do you even have a relationship? Some will argue that exclusivity is a requirement in a relationship. I’m not entirely convinced.
Love, trust and respect are definitely on my list of requirements when it comes to relationships. Theoretically I think it is possible to have a open relationship, in practice I don’t know how successful it would be. Perhaps in a small portion of cases. I know it would have to be under exceptional circumstances for it to work in a long term capacity for me. I know that eventually I’d get jealous or suspicious or insecure.
For certain characters and the right individuals I think the open relationship could work. If it can great, I mean why order from the menu when you can go the buffet? The key is having that clear distinction between love and lust. Maybe it was the beers distorting my thoughts but the more I thought about it the more I reasoned that an open relationship would be the ultimate way of demonstrating your love, respect, trust and honesty with a partner.
Accepting an open relationship is really letting go of any fragment of emotional control that you might have in relationship. For it to work you have to trust that whatever your partner may be doing with someone else is done in an act of lust and not love. There will have to be complete honesty with whatever someone has done with a third party, a respect of any founding rules and the wishes of your primary partner. In much the same way, your partner will have to offer the same trust, respect and honesty that you give to them.
On paper the open relationship sounds great, in the playground of love I don’t think it’ll fly. The thought of a partner banging someone else, no matter what is going through their mind is a bitter pill to swallow. I suppose it is my own shortcomings with insecurities and jealous that would prevent me from being able to sustain a workable open relationship. Props to any couple that can make it work.
I’ll take a stab and assume that the majority of people would think that an open relationship is simply a way of permissible cheating. It’s for those who can’t commit, those who don’t truly love/respect their partners and those that have serious relationship issues.
The crux of the issue lies with what we each define as a relationship. That’s where the divergence of opinion comes in. If you are allowed to sleep around, do you even have a relationship? Some will argue that exclusivity is a requirement in a relationship. I’m not entirely convinced.
Love, trust and respect are definitely on my list of requirements when it comes to relationships. Theoretically I think it is possible to have a open relationship, in practice I don’t know how successful it would be. Perhaps in a small portion of cases. I know it would have to be under exceptional circumstances for it to work in a long term capacity for me. I know that eventually I’d get jealous or suspicious or insecure.
For certain characters and the right individuals I think the open relationship could work. If it can great, I mean why order from the menu when you can go the buffet? The key is having that clear distinction between love and lust. Maybe it was the beers distorting my thoughts but the more I thought about it the more I reasoned that an open relationship would be the ultimate way of demonstrating your love, respect, trust and honesty with a partner.
Accepting an open relationship is really letting go of any fragment of emotional control that you might have in relationship. For it to work you have to trust that whatever your partner may be doing with someone else is done in an act of lust and not love. There will have to be complete honesty with whatever someone has done with a third party, a respect of any founding rules and the wishes of your primary partner. In much the same way, your partner will have to offer the same trust, respect and honesty that you give to them.
On paper the open relationship sounds great, in the playground of love I don’t think it’ll fly. The thought of a partner banging someone else, no matter what is going through their mind is a bitter pill to swallow. I suppose it is my own shortcomings with insecurities and jealous that would prevent me from being able to sustain a workable open relationship. Props to any couple that can make it work.
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