Harry
CibbuanoBest places to have sex
January 5th 2007 02:38
In my hormonally charged younger days a boyfriend and I were out clubbing one night in Sydney. With the aide of a few too many drinks the atmosphere became decidedly frisky. The prospect of waiting the 20 minute taxi ride home just wasn't cutting the mustard, instead we decided it was time to give this whole 'public sex' hoohaa a whirl.
Minutes later we found ourselves a dimly lit carpark beneath a unit block and started going hell for leather on the bonnet of some poor sods car. Yes! I emphatically apologise to whoever was the owner of the car. In the heat of the moment I can't say I was in the head space to rationalise exactly how wrong using someone else's property for my self satisfaction. If it is any concellation we left no dents or scratches, only a nice polish.
Anyhow, the experience was extremely thrilling for a whole 4 seconds. As karma would have it, the bonnet was competely non-ergonomically designed for such acrobatics. Furthermore, it was the middle of a cold wet winter and that bonnet was icy. Combine the co-ordinative abilities of two completely drunk youths and the entire event was quickly decending into a comedy of errors.
To top off the experience, no sooner did we finally get into some sort of a co-ordinated action plan a rather friendly security guard decided to appear on the scene. The pair of us scattered like coachroaches into the darkness and ran for our lives as best could be expected with your pants round your ankles. As it turned out, we weren't in hot pursuit, the moment cooled and we called it a night.
So with thoughts of my random bonnet gymnastics on my mind, I've gone in search of some of the more popular yet different places to have sex.
1. The beach.
I kind of don't see what all the fuss in about. Sand isn't exactly confortable and it tends to get in the most annoying places. Perhaps its a case of too much Hollywood glamourisation. Couples locking passionately as they're engulfed by the broken waves. If you do decided to do the dirty on the beach be sure to pack a big beach towel. You want to make sure you've got extreme coverage particularly if you find yourself on one of the public beaches.
2. A car.
It seems everyone but me has had sex in a car. I can't imagine I've missed out on much. I think car manufacturers specifically style the interiors of their machines so that a random handbrake, belt buckle, arm rest etc juts into the ribs or small of your back. I can hardly get comfortable enough to sleep in car let alone get some action in one.
3. On a plane.
Again it is sort of like the car in that the sex is going to be remarkably uncomfortable and restricted. Still, there is something to be said about adding the mile high club to your resume. I guess it is more about joining the exclusive club rather than having a mind blowing experience. A three seater international flight. Now that could be interesting.
4. Out in the bush/forest/woods
You can holler as loud as you want, run about butt naked and make like a wild animal. In my opinion, the promise of sex is the only reason why I'd bother going camping these days. There is something quite animalistic and instinctive about taking a leaf out of our caveman ancestors. In my opinion sex in the great outdoors has my two thumbs up.
Minutes later we found ourselves a dimly lit carpark beneath a unit block and started going hell for leather on the bonnet of some poor sods car. Yes! I emphatically apologise to whoever was the owner of the car. In the heat of the moment I can't say I was in the head space to rationalise exactly how wrong using someone else's property for my self satisfaction. If it is any concellation we left no dents or scratches, only a nice polish.
Anyhow, the experience was extremely thrilling for a whole 4 seconds. As karma would have it, the bonnet was competely non-ergonomically designed for such acrobatics. Furthermore, it was the middle of a cold wet winter and that bonnet was icy. Combine the co-ordinative abilities of two completely drunk youths and the entire event was quickly decending into a comedy of errors.
To top off the experience, no sooner did we finally get into some sort of a co-ordinated action plan a rather friendly security guard decided to appear on the scene. The pair of us scattered like coachroaches into the darkness and ran for our lives as best could be expected with your pants round your ankles. As it turned out, we weren't in hot pursuit, the moment cooled and we called it a night.
So with thoughts of my random bonnet gymnastics on my mind, I've gone in search of some of the more popular yet different places to have sex.
1. The beach.
I kind of don't see what all the fuss in about. Sand isn't exactly confortable and it tends to get in the most annoying places. Perhaps its a case of too much Hollywood glamourisation. Couples locking passionately as they're engulfed by the broken waves. If you do decided to do the dirty on the beach be sure to pack a big beach towel. You want to make sure you've got extreme coverage particularly if you find yourself on one of the public beaches.
2. A car.
It seems everyone but me has had sex in a car. I can't imagine I've missed out on much. I think car manufacturers specifically style the interiors of their machines so that a random handbrake, belt buckle, arm rest etc juts into the ribs or small of your back. I can hardly get comfortable enough to sleep in car let alone get some action in one.
3. On a plane.
Again it is sort of like the car in that the sex is going to be remarkably uncomfortable and restricted. Still, there is something to be said about adding the mile high club to your resume. I guess it is more about joining the exclusive club rather than having a mind blowing experience. A three seater international flight. Now that could be interesting.
4. Out in the bush/forest/woods
You can holler as loud as you want, run about butt naked and make like a wild animal. In my opinion, the promise of sex is the only reason why I'd bother going camping these days. There is something quite animalistic and instinctive about taking a leaf out of our caveman ancestors. In my opinion sex in the great outdoors has my two thumbs up.
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