Harry
CibbuanoDating: Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
November 3rd 2006 00:55
Ever noticed that some of the most volatile relationships can be the best? One of my good friends has been in and out of a relationship with a girl for over a year. They’ll follow this cycle of being together for a couple months, have a fight over something and not talk for a few weeks. During the break up period you’ll never here the end of how much of a loser the ex is and this time its for good. Wait a month and suddenly they’re back on talking terms, followed by friends, friends with benefits and then in the flash of an eye its back to official coupledom status.
What compels people to follow these brutal relationships? It seems to be a continual roller coaster of tears and passionate love. I suppose some people are drawn to the excitement that such a relationship provides. There is something to be said for the thrill of the chase. Perhaps some people don’t like the idea of a settled and steady relationship. Giving them action and drama, makes them feel alive. By never really knowing where a relationship is heading from one day to the next it keeps an adrenaline pumping through the relationship.
I suppose there is also the element of the eternal optimists in such relationships. Some people can just keep chipping away at a given relationship. They’re determined to make it work, they can see the end goal of a life long happiness and it tends to blind out the short term ups and downs. I’ve always wondered if such thoughts are fruitless or in fact a volatile relationship is simply a long term life of happiness suffering some initial teething problems. At what stage does a couple put aside the silly squabbles and commit to the long haul of a settled relationship? Something tells me that a volatile relationship will always be a volatile relationship.
The core element in an on-off relationship comes down to personal character. If two people are too similar they’ll tend to push each other’s buttons. It is a bizarre concept, when we meet someone we like we’ll often appreciate the similarities and common interests that you share. Interests are one thing, character it turns out is a completely different concept. Get two stubborn people in a relationship and there are bound to be fireworks. Similarly, two indecisive people in a relationship will lead to frustration as well. When it comes to finding a compatible partner it seems that in terms of personality, opposites can attract.
The element of high jinx and drama seems to play a big role in an unsettled relationship. In fact it almost becomes habit forming. It is something I’ve never been able to quite grasp – why go through the personal torture of multiple break ups? Who has been in a volatile relationship and what kept you coming back?
What compels people to follow these brutal relationships? It seems to be a continual roller coaster of tears and passionate love. I suppose some people are drawn to the excitement that such a relationship provides. There is something to be said for the thrill of the chase. Perhaps some people don’t like the idea of a settled and steady relationship. Giving them action and drama, makes them feel alive. By never really knowing where a relationship is heading from one day to the next it keeps an adrenaline pumping through the relationship.
I suppose there is also the element of the eternal optimists in such relationships. Some people can just keep chipping away at a given relationship. They’re determined to make it work, they can see the end goal of a life long happiness and it tends to blind out the short term ups and downs. I’ve always wondered if such thoughts are fruitless or in fact a volatile relationship is simply a long term life of happiness suffering some initial teething problems. At what stage does a couple put aside the silly squabbles and commit to the long haul of a settled relationship? Something tells me that a volatile relationship will always be a volatile relationship.
The core element in an on-off relationship comes down to personal character. If two people are too similar they’ll tend to push each other’s buttons. It is a bizarre concept, when we meet someone we like we’ll often appreciate the similarities and common interests that you share. Interests are one thing, character it turns out is a completely different concept. Get two stubborn people in a relationship and there are bound to be fireworks. Similarly, two indecisive people in a relationship will lead to frustration as well. When it comes to finding a compatible partner it seems that in terms of personality, opposites can attract.
The element of high jinx and drama seems to play a big role in an unsettled relationship. In fact it almost becomes habit forming. It is something I’ve never been able to quite grasp – why go through the personal torture of multiple break ups? Who has been in a volatile relationship and what kept you coming back?
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Comment by ThomasM
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Blogtommy
Comment by Ruth
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Glad to see you've been able to settle down though. Is there something more exciting about a dramatic relationship? Are there elements that you miss?
Comment by ThomasM
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There's lots more exciting and things missed, but I wouldn't change anything. To have someone by your side without question and to support you without question is a comfort that doesn't exist with the younger stuff Ruth. I'm good with being old married and happy. But yeah...there are elements of being young, spirited, and horny that are cool too...LOL
Blogtommy
Comment by TonyK
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i guess a lot of people are attracted to the drama and have such a low self esteem that they think they cant do any better
Comment by Ruth
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Comment by KylieW
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