Harry
CibbuanoDo Men Have the Upper Hand in a Relationship?
February 6th 2007 00:41
In general, men seem to be able to emotionally detach themselves from a relationship far more than women. Ok, I know I’m making a sweeping generalization and there may be plenty of guys out there that cry their eyes out into their pillows after a failed one month relationship. Perhaps, there is also an element of men traditionally not expressing their emotions as openly as women. With those disclaimers aside, it still seems like men are less likely to get too emotionally caught up in a blossoming relationship when compared to their partner at the time.
I suppose I witnessed the difference between the development of emotional attachment between men and women most markedly during the earlier stages of a relationship. Women appear to be far more likely to fall head over heels for a guy within the first few weeks (or even just encounters). Men tend to hold out on their emotional investment for longer. They’re more cautious when it comes to commitment.
Conversely, in a longer term relationship, I find that men tend to crash and burn after the conclusion of a deep relationship. Women seem to go through a grieving process which helps them come to terms with the end of the relationship. Once they’ve grieved, they tend to bounce back and deal with the emotions of a break up far more quickly than a man whose had his heart broken.
So if we assume that the generalization of men being more emotionally detached than women is true, does that mean that men have an upper hand in a relationship? By being less emotionally invested in a relationship, you can be far more flippant about the commitment to the relationship. When you are emotionally attached in a relationship you are far more likely to make greater sacrifices for a relationship. Not to say this is a bad thing. For any relationship to be able to work there has to be ‘give and take’ right from the start. However, with less emotional attachment there is less of a desire to give up your own desires for the sake of making a relationship work.
I’ve seen a few cases of especially young women becoming completely absorbed by a guy in the early stages of a relationship. I suppose the lack of experience goes a long way to describing they’re behaviour. Quite literally they’ll be planning out marriage arrangements and developing visions of a quaint family life, within a few weeks. On the other hand the guy will be making arrangements for drinks with the boys and will be seemingly completely oblivious to any sense of commitment. In this situation the woman is far more emotionally vulnerable. She’s less likely to make decisions with her heart rather than her head. Its possible to argue that the male has a more balanced and rational perspective of the relationship without the cloud of emotional commitment.
I suppose I witnessed the difference between the development of emotional attachment between men and women most markedly during the earlier stages of a relationship. Women appear to be far more likely to fall head over heels for a guy within the first few weeks (or even just encounters). Men tend to hold out on their emotional investment for longer. They’re more cautious when it comes to commitment.
Conversely, in a longer term relationship, I find that men tend to crash and burn after the conclusion of a deep relationship. Women seem to go through a grieving process which helps them come to terms with the end of the relationship. Once they’ve grieved, they tend to bounce back and deal with the emotions of a break up far more quickly than a man whose had his heart broken.
So if we assume that the generalization of men being more emotionally detached than women is true, does that mean that men have an upper hand in a relationship? By being less emotionally invested in a relationship, you can be far more flippant about the commitment to the relationship. When you are emotionally attached in a relationship you are far more likely to make greater sacrifices for a relationship. Not to say this is a bad thing. For any relationship to be able to work there has to be ‘give and take’ right from the start. However, with less emotional attachment there is less of a desire to give up your own desires for the sake of making a relationship work.
I’ve seen a few cases of especially young women becoming completely absorbed by a guy in the early stages of a relationship. I suppose the lack of experience goes a long way to describing they’re behaviour. Quite literally they’ll be planning out marriage arrangements and developing visions of a quaint family life, within a few weeks. On the other hand the guy will be making arrangements for drinks with the boys and will be seemingly completely oblivious to any sense of commitment. In this situation the woman is far more emotionally vulnerable. She’s less likely to make decisions with her heart rather than her head. Its possible to argue that the male has a more balanced and rational perspective of the relationship without the cloud of emotional commitment.
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