Harry
CibbuanoKeeping the Passion Burning
March 12th 2007 00:32
It takes intentional work to keep any fire burning and that includes the fire in your relationship. What can you do to prevent passion burn out?
The worst thing one can do is to wait for the fire to start going out before you gather wood. This means that in advance, before things get cold, you have to store up time to get away, set aside a few bucks to go out to dinner or hotel, schedule baby sitters in advance, schedule vacations, plan special things for your anniversary, birthdays, valentines day etc. Sit down with each other; get a calendar and set aside dates that you both agree to keep no matter what. Put a Red Heart on those days; when life gets hectic and begins to suck the passion out of you, just looking at that heart can bring comfort and anticipation. Plan special surprise dates where each person is responsible for what is done and where you go without the other knowing in advance.
Know your partners likes and dislikes, know what they like to eat, the kind of movies they enjoy and what they enjoy doing. If you are not sure what turns their heat up, ASK! Trust me, it is easier to ask than it is to experiment. When they tell you what they like, don’t think you know better.
There must be give and take in every relationship, it is called being thankful and appreciative towards each other. When selfishness gets in and it becomes all about me, all about I, then resentment may start to grow and that waters down any relationship. Stop blaming each other. You can say that you are not putting any wood on the fire because you are not getting any heat and the fireplace can say it is not giving any heat because no one is giving it any wood. Both parties are dependent on each other to have a warm relationship.
There are certain things that will put out a fire in a heartbeat. Phone calls during dinner, conversations about work, lack of money, reading the paper and not paying attention, complaining and nagging are all things that will put out the passion. Even children with their needs will put a damper on a well intended night out. Make arrangements for them to be away. Neighbors and in-laws can come knocking on the door with best intentions, hang a do not disturb sign out and let everyone know that they need to stay away.
The worst thing one can do is to wait for the fire to start going out before you gather wood. This means that in advance, before things get cold, you have to store up time to get away, set aside a few bucks to go out to dinner or hotel, schedule baby sitters in advance, schedule vacations, plan special things for your anniversary, birthdays, valentines day etc. Sit down with each other; get a calendar and set aside dates that you both agree to keep no matter what. Put a Red Heart on those days; when life gets hectic and begins to suck the passion out of you, just looking at that heart can bring comfort and anticipation. Plan special surprise dates where each person is responsible for what is done and where you go without the other knowing in advance.
Know your partners likes and dislikes, know what they like to eat, the kind of movies they enjoy and what they enjoy doing. If you are not sure what turns their heat up, ASK! Trust me, it is easier to ask than it is to experiment. When they tell you what they like, don’t think you know better.
There must be give and take in every relationship, it is called being thankful and appreciative towards each other. When selfishness gets in and it becomes all about me, all about I, then resentment may start to grow and that waters down any relationship. Stop blaming each other. You can say that you are not putting any wood on the fire because you are not getting any heat and the fireplace can say it is not giving any heat because no one is giving it any wood. Both parties are dependent on each other to have a warm relationship.
There are certain things that will put out a fire in a heartbeat. Phone calls during dinner, conversations about work, lack of money, reading the paper and not paying attention, complaining and nagging are all things that will put out the passion. Even children with their needs will put a damper on a well intended night out. Make arrangements for them to be away. Neighbors and in-laws can come knocking on the door with best intentions, hang a do not disturb sign out and let everyone know that they need to stay away.
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