Harry
CibbuanoWhat secrets do you keep from your partner?
November 2nd 2006 01:30
For some reason I had The Angels, “No Secrets” song in my head all day today. I’m not sure if it was some sort of subliminal message but it has inspired today’s post… what secrets have you or would you keep from a partner?
Trust, honesty and openness are always purported to be the foundations of any strong, long lasting relationship. That said, everyone has got skeletons in their closet and sure there are some things you’ve at least thought twice about sharing with a partner. That nudie run in high school, the big night during college when you woke up in some random’s bed, we’ve all got events in our lives that we regret. Sometimes it just seems easier to push them to the back of your mind and the backburner of “things I should really tell my girlfriend/boyfriend about.”
There’s not too much that I would keep from a partner over a long term relationship. I tend to let everything slip out so I don’t see much point in trying to divert issues. But I am sensitive to the timing of when I’d let a regrettable past experience out. For example, I wouldn’t be getting it to much detailed information of any embarrassing things I’ve done during the first few dates of a relationship. I wouldn’t necessarily lie, but I’d try and divert certain topics until I felt more comfortable with the person.
I suppose these tactics of diversion are a pretty false way of going about a relationship. If all what I’m doing is stalling an issue, then why not broach the topic right off the bat. I guess there is a bit of cowardice involved, perhaps issues with trust, I’m not sure but I tend to prefer not divulging too much of my personal life until I feel like myself and the new squeeze have invested more into a relationship than just a few drinks in a bar.
Past sexual health is one issue that a few friends have confessed to keeping a secret from a lover. There are two guys in particular who have had gonorrhea yet have admitted to letting these past STD’s slip with girlfriends. They’ve both been long cured of the STD so neither feels it is necessary to share with a girlfriend thinking that it may jeopardize the relationship.
I’m on the fence with the past sexual health issue. I can see where the two boys are coming from, but I would like to think that provided they were cleared of the STD I wouldn’t be too critical of a sexual partner who had a previous STD bout. I’d be far more inclined to end a relationship if I found that a person had flat out lied about their sexual health rather than been honest from the start.
The wonders of day time television have divulged a treasure trove of secrets that people keep from their partners. On the odd say when I’d miss a day of school and sat at home raiding the junk food stores and pigging out in front of Ricki Lake taught me just how deceitful some people can be with their partners. Everything from cheating, cross dressing, incest, drug use and sexual orientation were all extreme secrets kept hidden.
What is the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from a partner? Have you ever told a white lie? Fess up!
Trust, honesty and openness are always purported to be the foundations of any strong, long lasting relationship. That said, everyone has got skeletons in their closet and sure there are some things you’ve at least thought twice about sharing with a partner. That nudie run in high school, the big night during college when you woke up in some random’s bed, we’ve all got events in our lives that we regret. Sometimes it just seems easier to push them to the back of your mind and the backburner of “things I should really tell my girlfriend/boyfriend about.”
There’s not too much that I would keep from a partner over a long term relationship. I tend to let everything slip out so I don’t see much point in trying to divert issues. But I am sensitive to the timing of when I’d let a regrettable past experience out. For example, I wouldn’t be getting it to much detailed information of any embarrassing things I’ve done during the first few dates of a relationship. I wouldn’t necessarily lie, but I’d try and divert certain topics until I felt more comfortable with the person.
I suppose these tactics of diversion are a pretty false way of going about a relationship. If all what I’m doing is stalling an issue, then why not broach the topic right off the bat. I guess there is a bit of cowardice involved, perhaps issues with trust, I’m not sure but I tend to prefer not divulging too much of my personal life until I feel like myself and the new squeeze have invested more into a relationship than just a few drinks in a bar.
Past sexual health is one issue that a few friends have confessed to keeping a secret from a lover. There are two guys in particular who have had gonorrhea yet have admitted to letting these past STD’s slip with girlfriends. They’ve both been long cured of the STD so neither feels it is necessary to share with a girlfriend thinking that it may jeopardize the relationship.
I’m on the fence with the past sexual health issue. I can see where the two boys are coming from, but I would like to think that provided they were cleared of the STD I wouldn’t be too critical of a sexual partner who had a previous STD bout. I’d be far more inclined to end a relationship if I found that a person had flat out lied about their sexual health rather than been honest from the start.
The wonders of day time television have divulged a treasure trove of secrets that people keep from their partners. On the odd say when I’d miss a day of school and sat at home raiding the junk food stores and pigging out in front of Ricki Lake taught me just how deceitful some people can be with their partners. Everything from cheating, cross dressing, incest, drug use and sexual orientation were all extreme secrets kept hidden.
What is the biggest secret you’ve ever kept from a partner? Have you ever told a white lie? Fess up!
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Comment by TonyK
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Comment by Ruth
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Plus I think there are certain levels where you can get away with keeping things to yourself. What if sharing your opinions will end up hurting your partner? Isn't it better to keep these opinions to yourself?
Comment by TonyK
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Comment by Ruth
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What about those white lies? Say your girlfriend's family really grates on your nerve, is it worth causing conflict if it is something you can put up with?
Comment by TonyK
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
What are they?
Well, that'd be telling now wouldn't it ... and secrets they would no longer be, which negates the point of them being secrets in the first place.
Comment by Ruth
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Comment by Bryn
Horrorphile
Comment by Damo
What time did you get the kids to school?
Um,um,um...
How many beers have you had?
Jusht a fewww...
Did you get a speeding ticket today?
No, not today...
What are you day dreaming about?
Only you darling....
Talk about your feelings?
Sure I'm really intouch with them....
Comment by Ruth
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In the long run, would a collection of little fibs be just as detremental to a relationship as one big skeleton in the closet? Is it even kosher to tell these little fibs?
Comment by Homer Joyce
The only secret I ever kept from my spouse was that I enjoyed love making with previous women more ... and that I was thinking of getting two frozen fish fingers out of the freezer while she wasn't around, to hot things up a bit ...
Homer ...
Comment by Ruth
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