Harry
CibbuanoHelp, my boyfriend is a stoner!
February 5th 2007 00:36
Well not my boyfriend, but at a recent house party I was having a drunken heart-to-heart with a random emotionally charged woman who was completely disheartened with the state of affairs about her relationship. The problem… her stoner boyfriend. It was a conversation that had strains of Oprah, Dr Phil and Jerry Springer weave through every word. I really felt like all I could do was be the lending ear as clearly no sense or reason could be talked into this woman. As it was she was completely in love with this man and even his drug induced neglect wasn’t going put a stop to on her heart. Who knows maybe it was the alcohol taking over, but one thing is for sure, this girl was most definitely no longer happy in this relationship but too emotionally committed to leave.
As it turned out they were high school sweethearts and got together during the innocent times of their last year of high school… Jane and Robert… a match made in heaven. Both dabbled in pot and assorted recreational drugs throughout university. In fact it was Robert’s adventurous streak which was so appealing to Jane. During university, he had the pot smoking, bohemian emo appeal. They grew and developed together. Pot lubricated the relationship. It wasn’t like they were complete stoners, but they did enjoy the occasional party spliff together and as Jane said at the time it was all good and harmless fun.
With time, Jane grew out of the pot smoking partying scene. She was over the ridiculous hangovers, the whole scene just wasn’t fun anymore. There was more to life than wasting away the weekends talking shit and feeling scattered. Her days at university were coming to a close and regular partying just wasn’t the lifestyle she wanted to lead anymore.
This is where Jane and Robert’s development started to divert. Robert enjoyed the party lifestyle. Jane had no problems with Robert continuing down the path of partying provided that he was still able to meet his end of the bargain. Soon he wasn’t pulling his weight in the relationship and now Jane howls that she is the one supporting him. He’s rather content to live off whatever government assistance he’s entitled to and let Jane make up the financial short comings.
The conundrum facing Jane is that no matter how much of a moocher she may admit that Robert has become, she’s still absolutely in love with him. To be honest, I’m not sure why. Her descriptions make him sound like an absolute tossbag. But, I didn’t think it was my place to be handing over judgment on a person I hadn’t met. Still in all of this mess, the fact remains that you can’t change someone’s character. They are what they are and you have to take the good with the bad or leave the relationship. Jane is clinging onto the hope that one day Robert will see the error of his ways, get a haircut and get a real job. Perhaps one day he will. I found the only advice that I could give Jane was to accept that Robert can only be who he is. She has to look at the complete package. His lovable side and not so lovable side, accept that that is what she may be in a relationship with for a very long time and come to a decision about whether that is what she wants to stick with for the long haul.
As it turned out they were high school sweethearts and got together during the innocent times of their last year of high school… Jane and Robert… a match made in heaven. Both dabbled in pot and assorted recreational drugs throughout university. In fact it was Robert’s adventurous streak which was so appealing to Jane. During university, he had the pot smoking, bohemian emo appeal. They grew and developed together. Pot lubricated the relationship. It wasn’t like they were complete stoners, but they did enjoy the occasional party spliff together and as Jane said at the time it was all good and harmless fun.
With time, Jane grew out of the pot smoking partying scene. She was over the ridiculous hangovers, the whole scene just wasn’t fun anymore. There was more to life than wasting away the weekends talking shit and feeling scattered. Her days at university were coming to a close and regular partying just wasn’t the lifestyle she wanted to lead anymore.
The conundrum facing Jane is that no matter how much of a moocher she may admit that Robert has become, she’s still absolutely in love with him. To be honest, I’m not sure why. Her descriptions make him sound like an absolute tossbag. But, I didn’t think it was my place to be handing over judgment on a person I hadn’t met. Still in all of this mess, the fact remains that you can’t change someone’s character. They are what they are and you have to take the good with the bad or leave the relationship. Jane is clinging onto the hope that one day Robert will see the error of his ways, get a haircut and get a real job. Perhaps one day he will. I found the only advice that I could give Jane was to accept that Robert can only be who he is. She has to look at the complete package. His lovable side and not so lovable side, accept that that is what she may be in a relationship with for a very long time and come to a decision about whether that is what she wants to stick with for the long haul.
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Anonymous
Tell the douche to stop being lazy, and to stop using pot as an excuse not to do anything. Problem solved.