Harry
CibbuanoStripteasing
November 10th 2006 00:49
Well, it’s my new boyfriend’s birthday in two weeks and I’m completely stumped with what to get him. Anyway, whilst I mill over a present, I thought I’d sport him to some raunchy in the boudoir… a striptease.
Stripping isn’t exactly one of my big past times. I’ve also discovered that there is a decided lack of education resources out there for “becoming a professional stripping as a novice wishing to master the art in a part time two week capacity.” I have a feeling my complete lack of flexibility is going to be the major sticking point in my success. When I was living in Sydney, on the odd occasion I found myself in the sleazy confines of a Kings Cross stripclub at some ungodly hour of the morning. Such were the perils of socializing with a band of young hormonal males.
My recollections of the Kings Cross dancers are fuzzy to say the least. I may have had sported a brief glance of curious fascination but in general my eyes were usually averted from the stage. I sort of found the whole scene pretty depressing, the girls just didn’t look like they wanted to be there. Nevertheless, they were magnificently dexterous and had the suppleness of a yogi master. Years of playing sports and having a complete disregard for proper stretching and warming down practices has left my limbs as flexible as a Fred Niles views on gay marriage.
I’ve decided to take some inspiration from one of the greatest stripteases ever caught on film… Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. If a four-eyed office worker mum can pull off the sexy French Michelle striptease surely I can master the art of “letting your body flow like water,” surely there is some hope for me.
I must say, in my few attempts at practice I feel like a bit of a retard and as sexy as a water buffalo stuck in a marsh. Still I’m determined to get a bit of a show down. One of the hardest things I discovered is removing clothing in a fluid motion coordinated with music and whatever gyrating motion you may be making at the time. It sounds like a piece of cake but seriously I’m surprised I haven’t broken a limb with the number of times I’ve managed to get myself into a tangle and found myself crashing to the floor.
Whose got some stripping tips? Have you ever done a strip for your lover? What was hot and what was not?
Hopefully this doesn't happen...
Stripping isn’t exactly one of my big past times. I’ve also discovered that there is a decided lack of education resources out there for “becoming a professional stripping as a novice wishing to master the art in a part time two week capacity.” I have a feeling my complete lack of flexibility is going to be the major sticking point in my success. When I was living in Sydney, on the odd occasion I found myself in the sleazy confines of a Kings Cross stripclub at some ungodly hour of the morning. Such were the perils of socializing with a band of young hormonal males.
My recollections of the Kings Cross dancers are fuzzy to say the least. I may have had sported a brief glance of curious fascination but in general my eyes were usually averted from the stage. I sort of found the whole scene pretty depressing, the girls just didn’t look like they wanted to be there. Nevertheless, they were magnificently dexterous and had the suppleness of a yogi master. Years of playing sports and having a complete disregard for proper stretching and warming down practices has left my limbs as flexible as a Fred Niles views on gay marriage.
I’ve decided to take some inspiration from one of the greatest stripteases ever caught on film… Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. If a four-eyed office worker mum can pull off the sexy French Michelle striptease surely I can master the art of “letting your body flow like water,” surely there is some hope for me.
I must say, in my few attempts at practice I feel like a bit of a retard and as sexy as a water buffalo stuck in a marsh. Still I’m determined to get a bit of a show down. One of the hardest things I discovered is removing clothing in a fluid motion coordinated with music and whatever gyrating motion you may be making at the time. It sounds like a piece of cake but seriously I’m surprised I haven’t broken a limb with the number of times I’ve managed to get myself into a tangle and found myself crashing to the floor.
Whose got some stripping tips? Have you ever done a strip for your lover? What was hot and what was not?
Hopefully this doesn't happen...
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Comment by ThomasM
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PS...
The wardrobe and layering is probably more important than the movements themselves....doh.......??????!!!!!!!!
who said that?
Blogtommy
Comment by Ruth
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Wardrobes huh? Are you suggesting I should be investing in some tacky nurse's outfit?
Comment by ThomasM
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Heidi's Blog
I don't know your body type or the like and don't pretend to. so use this as you see fit.
Rule #1 Guys are pigs.
Rule #2 Guys are Pigglier with a libation attached.
Adjust accordingly.
Guys are like that owl that's trying to get to the center of a tootsie pop...you know the one right?? 3 slurps and a crunch...well that's what we're working with here...
Sooooooooooooooooo...............
Know your audience is the first rule. If you believe he's a typical bloke is it?? who will be ready to go after the music starts...then dress accordingly....few layers (nurses or not...your choice)
If not, then dress more provocatively with each layer getting more intense...you know...start as a school marm (and yes hairbun, eyeglasses, you name it) sweater and then work on down....It's really quite elementary my dear Watson....LOL
Blogtommy
Comment by Ruth
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Whether it be the school girl, teacher, nurse yada yada... some sexy regular clothes and lingerie isn't going to cut the mustard?
I know he's into the Japanese school girl look... I suppose I'll have to get 'Kawaii'-ed up. Just got to find sme of thse crazy slinky knee socks that I can super glue to my skins.
Comment by ThomasM
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Heidi's Blog
Aside from that no, go with what works for you. I'm not there. Only you know the highway and desired rest stops. I was simply pointing out some tips along the lines of what pigs....errrrr men fall for...and I stand by them. I know it's getting hot there, so perhaps a Japanese/Winter/Olympics gig is in order....but you're gonna have to peel down kinda fast....which may or may not work for ya....Good Luck
T
Comment by Ruth
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Comment by ThomasM
Fuel Saving Advice
Heidi's Blog
Blogtommy
Comment by Ruth
NSW
ACT
VIC
SA
WA
Comment by ThomasM
Fuel Saving Advice
Heidi's Blog
T