Tanya Gold doesn't like He's Just Not That Into You
February 17th 2009 22:22
Tanya Gold, editorial writer for the guardian, has had enough of all this "He's Just Not That Into You" nonsense. The bestselling book was snapped up by the hungry public, eager to pay money to read that their man was just not into them.
It's apparently based on a Sex and the City episode where one of the ladies is dating a man that refuses a request to 'come upstairs'. From Wikipedia:
Gold doesn't like the book, mainly because it tells women to hate themselves and their relationships.
I suspect the book is a little tongue-in-cheek, a satisfying read for women to devour then say something like 'that's sooo me' and then head back into their relationship that makes them feel awful. Or maybe it's just really funny.
Gold has many problems with the book, but they seem valid. Never show men that you like them, never call them, never ask them out. She correctly relates this book to "The Rules", which offer women more imbecile laws to approach relationships that should be created out of spontaneity and interest.
Gold summarizes the intent of the book with malice:
I'd agree with Gold - we don't really need more of this self-help, read-about-your-tragic-relati onship garbage. Despite the wisdom and theories put forward by these authors, there are still millions of couples, living happily.
And, even more reassuring, there are millions of single men, still chasing women, who are very obviously Into Them.
It's apparently based on a Sex and the City episode where one of the ladies is dating a man that refuses a request to 'come upstairs'. From Wikipedia:
"Because the man declined Miranda's invitation to come up to her apartment after the date, stating that he has an early meeting, Berger concludes, "he's just not that into you," adding, "When a guy's really into you, he's coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting"."
"The co-author of the book, Greg Behrendt, who once wrote for Sex and the City, explains in 238 pages of hate that there is only one thing you need to know when dating. It is that your lover doesn't want you. He is trying to escape from you but he doesn't want to hurt you or confront you, so he doesn't tell you."
I suspect the book is a little tongue-in-cheek, a satisfying read for women to devour then say something like 'that's sooo me' and then head back into their relationship that makes them feel awful. Or maybe it's just really funny.
Gold has many problems with the book, but they seem valid. Never show men that you like them, never call them, never ask them out. She correctly relates this book to "The Rules", which offer women more imbecile laws to approach relationships that should be created out of spontaneity and interest.
Gold summarizes the intent of the book with malice:
"If a man is not trying to undress you, he's not into you...So you should instantly dump him, ideally without telling him. To do that, of course, would be a waste of your time, because you should be moving on to the next man who's just not that into you.
This is dating for little girls...And when you've finally realised that every man you've ever loved didn't want you, you'll feel better because you are now in control.""
This is dating for little girls...And when you've finally realised that every man you've ever loved didn't want you, you'll feel better because you are now in control.""
I'd agree with Gold - we don't really need more of this self-help, read-about-your-tragic-relati onship garbage. Despite the wisdom and theories put forward by these authors, there are still millions of couples, living happily.
And, even more reassuring, there are millions of single men, still chasing women, who are very obviously Into Them.
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