Harry
CibbuanoTips to avoid a rebound relationship
September 13th 2006 00:21
There’s no hard and fast rule for a period of time you should wait after a relationship before looking to start a new one. Some can move on and heal much faster than others. It is really a situational and case by case sort of thing. Relationship counselors will recommend that someone who has been in a long term committed relationship or marriage should take a year to work through the pain, anger and sadness that will accompany a divorce, death or break-up.
No matter how long you wait to seek a new relationship it is very important to do some personal self assessment. Only you can honestly gauge if you’ve gone through the grieving process, have made peace with the break up and are ready for a fresh start and a new commitment. You will know when you’ve gotten over a break up. If your find yourself questioning whether you’ve dealt with a break up or worse find yourself rationalizing that you are ‘fine and completely over that a-hole’ then you are probably aren’t completely over it.
When you do start a new relationship really question your motives for getting with a new partner. Are you seeking a replacement? Are you looking for someone to fill a gap? Or are you genuinely interested in getting to know the new love interest better for a fresh start. If you find yourself reminiscing about your past relationship or relating aspects, events or scenarios in your new relationship back to the past, it may be a sign to hold back the reigns. A sure sign of a rebound relationship is when you get a emotional burst when something (either a place or event) triggers memories of the past relationship. It is a sign that you haven’t fully come to terms with the loss.
If you have gone through a difficult separation it is a good idea to let your new partner know how you feel. They’ll be far more understanding and may want to hold back on a serious relationship until you agree that you’re ready for the commitment. As you do come to terms with the break up, they’ll probably be able to provide you with the emotional support that you need without embarking on any serious new relationships. Be honest and open about your feelings. If you think that things are progressing too fast let them know and voice your concerns.
No matter how long you wait to seek a new relationship it is very important to do some personal self assessment. Only you can honestly gauge if you’ve gone through the grieving process, have made peace with the break up and are ready for a fresh start and a new commitment. You will know when you’ve gotten over a break up. If your find yourself questioning whether you’ve dealt with a break up or worse find yourself rationalizing that you are ‘fine and completely over that a-hole’ then you are probably aren’t completely over it.
When you do start a new relationship really question your motives for getting with a new partner. Are you seeking a replacement? Are you looking for someone to fill a gap? Or are you genuinely interested in getting to know the new love interest better for a fresh start. If you find yourself reminiscing about your past relationship or relating aspects, events or scenarios in your new relationship back to the past, it may be a sign to hold back the reigns. A sure sign of a rebound relationship is when you get a emotional burst when something (either a place or event) triggers memories of the past relationship. It is a sign that you haven’t fully come to terms with the loss.
If you have gone through a difficult separation it is a good idea to let your new partner know how you feel. They’ll be far more understanding and may want to hold back on a serious relationship until you agree that you’re ready for the commitment. As you do come to terms with the break up, they’ll probably be able to provide you with the emotional support that you need without embarking on any serious new relationships. Be honest and open about your feelings. If you think that things are progressing too fast let them know and voice your concerns.
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